Using Tarot as a Tool for Self-Care

You’ve probably heard of Tarot cards, but fewer people are familiar with their use, or may be more familiar with the preconceived notion that these cards cast in stone a, potentially foreboding, future path. In today’s conversation, we get to peel back a little of the mystery to talk about ways that Tarot serves as a guide or tool.

You’ll also learn a little about how our host, Diane, incorporates them into her life as well as learning abou the unique way today’s guest uses them in her work with clients.

Gavie Remaly is the Tarot Guide at Luxi Enchanted and she leads overwhelmed women seeking boundaries in identifying the boundaries they need and helps them establish a plan to enforce them. Her unique way of supporting this is using Tarot as a guide.

Connect with Gavie:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luxienchanted/

Facebook: @luxienchanted

9 Tip Action Guide to go from overwhelmed to overjoyed: https://subscribepage.io/LuxiEnchanted_Overwhelmed

Email: enchanted@gavieremaly.com

– connect for a Tarot reading to design a custom action plan for

identifying and establishing each person’s personal boundaries

 

Connect with Diane:

Get a copy of the Self Care Audio download Diane mentioned: https://thefireinsideher.com/audio/

Website: https://www.thefireinsideher.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thefireinher/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dianeschroeder5/

Transcript
Diane:

Welcome to the Fire Inside Her podcast, A safe space for leadership, self-care, and community. I'm your host Diane Schroeder, and it is my privilege to be your guide on the journey to authenticity. When I was 17 years old, I had my first tarot card reading. And it freaked me out. I'm still not ready to unpack that with you guys. All I can say is I shied away from tarot for a long time, and then about four years ago when I really started to reconnect with myself and the divine feminine within me. I started collecting Oracle card decks and tarot cards. There's a difference, and we'll get into that during the interview. And I really felt this connection to the universe through tarot. So every morning after I do my morning breathing and meditation, I usually pull, at least one, tarot card. Now, tarot cards aren't crystal balls. They don't tell you the your fortune. They can't predict the future. Tarot is simply a guide. It actually started as a card game in the 15th century. The cool thing about tarot is it really connects with the universe. There's the minor archana and the major archana. And the minor archana also correlate with the elements of earth, water, air, and fire. I have really just found a great connection to tarot and the universe. There's no good cards or bad cards. The universe just gives you a card to ponder on, and I have found such comfort in that. As an example, we talk a little bit about this in the episode, for about two months before I decided to retire from the fire service, I consistently pulled. The Three of Swords, which is an air element and the Swords suit really focuses on conflict and overthinking, so it really matches pretty perfectly. What I was struggling with when I made that decision. Today I interview and we get to listen to Gabby. She is a tarot guide at Lexi Enchanted, and she leads overwhelmed women who seek boundaries to identify what they need and establish a plan to enforce those boundaries. And she uses tarot as the guide to do it. I loved speaking with her and she shares a little bit of her story and how tarot helped guide her to start her own journey as an entrepreneur. And I hope that it opens your mind a little bit if you're not familiar with tarot and just, just a different way of viewing the world. Now, keep in mind. With tarot, as with astrology and everything else, we as human beings have our own free will. So tarot can say one thing, and you have every right to make your own decision. And without further ado, let's listen with Gabby. Hi Gabby. How are you doing today?

Gavie:

I am great. I'm glad to be here. I'm excited to talk to you.

Diane:

I am so excited for this conversation for so many reasons. But first, because I ask completely random questions, of my guests, I would like to know if you are a ketchup, mustard, Mayo Ranch. What kind of condiment person are you?

Gavie:

You know, it really depends on what I'm eating, like. I don't eat the same condiment every time. Like for my burger, I want mustard and mayo. I will actually probably never pick ranch at this point just cuz I don't do dairy.

Diane:

okay. You might be the first person in my entire life that I've ever heard say they don't pick ranch. So I respect that.

Gavie:

Yeah. I used, I actually do really like ranch. I just, I don't eat dairy cuz I, I have ms so I try to eliminate dairy cuz it is a trigger for some of my symptoms. So it's been a road.

Diane:

Okay. All right. Well, I think that's a perfect segue. We are going to talk today about what you do and how you incorporate tarot. But before we get started down that road, I would love to hear a little bit more about you, your story, how you've got to where you are in life, all the details you feel comfortable sharing.

Gavie:

Sure. So I'd say that, okay, so I do tarot. That started when I was like around 16, but more importantly than I just do, tarot is I like to help women establish boundaries so that they can eliminate burnout and overwhelm, and most importantly, find life balance. Because if you don't have a balanced life, then just kind of miserable, which is what I've found. Back in 2020 when everyone's world was turned upside down. Right. Because of the pandemic. Well that was one of the factors. Mine was just, I was working a lot despite it being the pandemic.

Diane:

Right.

Gavie:

we were still working a lot. I mean, you know, you have a, a background in fire, right? That doesn't stop.

Diane:

Yeah, my, my life did not change during the pandemic. I just increased my responsibilities and added teaching to my resume.

Gavie:

right. So like for the first responders and, what did, what did they call it? The for essential workers?

Diane:

Yep, yep. Essential workers.

Gavie:

Yeah. Well, I worked in oil and gas and we were considered essential. So before 2020, in 2018, I had my first baby. Being a new mom that changes. A lot in your life. Like basically it changes. Like even though I remember thinking the day after I had her, I was thinking, I was like, oh my God, my life is like completely different than what it was yesterday.

Diane:

Yes, yes. I grew this human and I know I've been growing this human, but now this human is in the world and needs me in a very different way from rubbing my belly and you know, all the other things. So, yes,

Gavie:

So literally from one day to the next I was like, oh my gosh, my life has been turned upside down and I don't, I dunno what I'm doing.

Diane:

Yep. I remember that feeling very well.

Gavie:

I had her in 2018 I was still working in oil and gas at that point, and before I had her, I was working 62 hours a week roughly.

Diane:

Yuck.

Gavie:

So that was a lot. And that didn't bother me being a single, or I was married, but still like I didn't have children, so it wasn't that big of a deal. But then when my daughter was born, I had the inevitable mom guilt, you know? I wasn't able to be around her as much as I wanted to. I felt like I was missing so many milestones. And then, I can't even get started on American postpartum like, or American parental leave. I was fortunate enough to, to take the 12 weeks. Um, it was unpaid though. I had unpaid 12 weeks. I actually used F M L A because, my employer at the time thought I was gonna take six weeks. was like, no, I'm gonna take the full 12. And I mean, they couldn't say no, you know? So, yeah. So that, that was my first boundary without like me thinking like, I need to put a boundary. That was just my, like instinctual, this is what I need to do.

Diane:

Absolutely.

Gavie:

I did that. I did the 12 weeks, and then of course I put my daughter in childcare and then, you know, here comes the pandemic. And in 2019, I remember like it was December. So it was right around the holidays and I was just so lost. I was lost in motherhood. I was lost in my job.

Diane:

Mm-hmm.

Gavie:

just felt so overwhelmed by everything that seemed to be consuming me. That wasn't me.

Diane:

okay.

Gavie:

There was just so much responsibility, just piling up on top of each other.

Diane:

Yes. Right. I understand. Well, and if you're not feeling like yourself, you're, I'm assuming you are also not being authentic to yourself and, you know, covering yourself up to give everyone else what they need and losing your authenticity or, I don't think anyone ever loses it. I think we cover it up.

Gavie:

Yeah, it's, it, it gets buried deep, deep down.

Diane:

Yes, yes.

Gavie:

I was definitely feeling that like I, I was so far gone that I actually did seek help. I remember the first time I met my, she was a life coach. And the first time I met her, I just, bawled the entire time I talked to her. And I just remember feeling like I was in this deep dense fog and I couldn't see anything in front of me. Like not even my hand, like everything was just so completely. Gone. I, I didn't have any direction. And then I was having intrusive thoughts. It was a really dark time for me. And like I said, that was going into the pandemic into 2020. We hadn't even been sent home yet.

Diane:

Right, right. So, so you're already at a, not a great space, and then the whole world shuts

Gavie:

Right. And so, okay. So I was working a lot. I. Mind you, I had spoken up for myself to reduce hours some At that point I think I was working 55, 56 hours, which is still a lot.

Diane:

Absolutely.

Gavie:

Um, but still I had reduced some of my hours and I was still working a lot. And here comes the pandemic. So dealing with being. You know, a mom to a toddler at this point with my crazy work hours, the pandemic, and then I get covid from work, from going back to work in person. I had avoided covid this whole time. I go back to work and I get it, and I'm so mad, so bitter because I've avoided it this whole time. So I had to stay home a month with Covid, which meant my husband had to stay home. He was also an essential worker and he couldn't, go to work. So the cherry on top the day, like the day right after, they were like, okay, you have covid. Like I had gone to see a neurologist and they told me like, oh, you have ms.

Diane:

Oh my gosh, that's a lot. Like, that's,

Gavie:

So

Diane:

way.

Gavie:

Right. I just had everything, coming down on me. But thankfully at that point I already had my coach. So she was helping me along the way, set my boundaries, in setting those boundaries one thing that stuck with me, is that you have to tell them what your boundaries are. Like, don't ask them for permission. Can I do, like, can I do this? Because if you give them a choice, they're going to tell you no.

Diane:

Right? Absolutely.

Gavie:

Tell them this is what I need. So basically expressing your needs, voicing them out loud, letting people know that this is what you need to be met, to be happy.

Diane:

Mm-hmm.

Gavie:

It sounds simple, right? But I, so I remember having the conversation with my then supervisors that I needed to reduce my hours because I was burning out. This was before Covid hit and it was a big transition. So I had reduced them down to 56 and then, I let them know. I still can't, it's still a lot. Cause I was working six days every other week. That was one of the boundaries I had put in, in to begin with. But then I was like, I can't, I can't, I can't work six days a week every week. Like I have to work Monday through Friday

Diane:

Right.

Gavie:

and like I have to have reduced hours. And we were working 10 hour days, so that still would've been 50 hours.

Diane:

My goodness.

Gavie:

So I was like, okay, well that's still reducing it by, you know, about six hours. So, you know, at least I'd have my weekends.

Diane:

Right.

Gavie:

Um, so there was that. And then also while I did that, I asked for a transfer in departments, because the department that I wanted to go to was a little less, I mean, in comparison, it was a big shift, which helped a lot. It felt like it took baby steps to get there. There was no, like, I went from 60 hours to 40 hours. It didn't hope happen overnight. so I just with this, with the tarot now, knowing what I know about setting boundaries, And having to take baby steps and also evaluating where you need your boundary,

Diane:

Mm-hmm.

Gavie:

like with the tarot, it gives you so much insight. I think of it as, I always explain it as a mirror, tarot being a mirror and not me telling you your future. Um, I mean, I think that it has that capability for

Diane:

right? for some people.

Gavie:

Um, like I'm not dismissing that at all, but that's not what I do.

Diane:

Right.

Gavie:

I use it as a tool to gain insight into what your situation is, how you may be feeling, how you may be handling situations, how you may actually be impacting how that situation is unfolding. Cuz I know that a lot of people, because you know they're in their heads a lot, they have so much going they can't see something clearly like they need an outside perspective.

Diane:

Absolutely you can't see the forest through the trees, especially when you know it. I always think of my aunt had this plaque in her kitchen, in the mountains growing up and I never really understood it, but I always thought it was funny because it says, um, it's hard to remember. The objective was to drain the swamp when you're up to your ass and alligators. And I just thought it was funny cuz it said ass. Um, but that's so true. Like when you're buried it's hard to remember, oh, this was the overall objective. Cuz we go into survival mode or our security detail kicks in and, to not have any guidance or, you know, just a different perspective. It gets hard and overwhelming.

Gavie:

It does. Uh, like I had mentioned earlier, I felt like I was in a fog. Initially, and I couldn't see, and I couldn't even see the first step to make it better. I was just blind.

Diane:

right? So you, you have like, you're buried, you are in a very dark place. You start to kind of crawl out and then Whamo, you get C O V I D and, and oh, by the way, you now have Ms. And you still have a toddler and we're still in the middle of a pandemic. How did you start using tarot to kind of give you a shift in perspective, and how did that kind of help get you out of your dark space?

Gavie:

Right. So I actually, during the time of covid, I didn't use tarot. I started tarot when I was 16. And that was when I got my first deck and I kind of dabbled here and there, but I never took it seriously. It wasn't until after, like long after the pandemic, I think it was like 2022. Um, so last year, last January, um, I saw a tarot deck at. Sam's Club of all places.

Diane:

Okay. All right.

Gavie:

Yeah. And I was like, I really need to pick this back up. again. And I had initially bought it because I wanted to learn it again or to learn it better, deeper, like a deeper meaning. But also I wanted it for self-reflection. Something that I carried from my time with my coach, is that you should always have a tool that you should use to help you self-reflect, give you kind of an open objective, like whether it's journaling or a hobby that gets you just out of that mindset and lets you really think, think freely. You know,

Diane:

Right?

Gavie:

please your mind.

Diane:

Well, and I can imagine it also is very like to 16 year old Gabby, it's like, man, that makes my heart happy. You know that, that inner child inside of you

Gavie:

Yeah.

Diane:

I really like this before, I wanna do it again.

Gavie:

Yes. I know. I wasn't even looking for it. It was just there sitting on the table at Sam's.

Diane:

I love it when the universe does that. You know,

Gavie:

Yeah.

Diane:

there, it was, there's I don't believe in coincidences.

Gavie:

yeah, same. The way that things unfold always it happens for a reason is very cliche, but it's, there's truth in it.

Diane:

Yeah. I believe in that. I believe in that. So you get your deck and then you take it home and you just start

Gavie:

Yeah. so I started doing, I, yes, I started reconnecting with my deck. I actually do, I ha, I don't know how many decks I have at this point. I like probably at least 10, which is a baby collection in comparison to,

Diane:

to I agree. I have, I have about 10 myself and so I'm, I don't have any more space to store 'em right

Gavie:

Yes.

Diane:

I can make more space, I have to put a hold on buying them.

Gavie:

Right. So I, I just, I, like I said, I have more decks than I actually use. I use them so that way I can, know, have different perspectives cuz each deck has its own personality, uh, I find, and so I do deck interviews.

Diane:

Okay. I like that. I get that.

Gavie:

Just to see kind of what I'm feeling in the moment and what I should be using. Like sometimes, you know, one deck calls to me like one day. I actually have this one. It's a really, it's a small, like mini size deck and it's very, very minimal, the,

Diane:

Mm-hmm.

Gavie:

Um, but it's, I feel like it's a friend, like like that sounds so woowoo. I know. I'm sorry.

Diane:

Don't be sorry. I like, I, this is, this is a woowoo conversation for sure. There's no need to apologize.

Gavie:

Like, I'm not super woowoo, but that sounds like it. Anyway, so I have this really small deck and I, when I feel like I'm just depleted, basically, like I don't have any energy left to give, like I just need something soothing. I go to this Jack, and I just feel like it's one of those like. Rubbing your back, patting you.

Diane:

I love it. I love it. So let's back up for just a second. Sure. For my listeners that don't maybe understand tarot or know what tarot is can you just give like a really brief, like what is tarot and how is tarot different from like Oracle cards or Angel cards? They're all kind of in the same family, but everyone has a slightly different role and tarot's been around for thousands of years.

Gavie:

Right. Uh, so the tarot, there's different systems to tarot. Uh, I use the Ryder Wade Smith system, which is probably the most common at this it was started, I believe, in the early 19 hundreds. So it's So it's fairly new, I would say, in comparison to some of the other right.

Diane:

Tarot as a whole is old, but the system is relatively new.

Gavie:

Right, right. For R Ws. Anyway, but it's interesting that that is the most like practiced. So all of tarot has a systematic meaning, the different, like the wands, like all of the suits, there's wands. Uh, swords, cups and pinnacles, they all correspond with elements,

Diane:

Yep. Air, fire, water, and earth.

Gavie:

right. And so some of those you can use, or most of those, you use them to kind of determine where you're at. If a card comes out, like if you're having swords, like you're probably dealing with a lot of mental stress or just like a lot of. You know, anxiousness, um, and if you are dealing with cups, you're probably very emotional. The earth, you're probably grounded. And Juan's, you know, they're fire. So you're probably super passionate

Diane:

Mm-hmm.

Gavie:

it is,

Diane:

I love it. And then there's the major arcana, which is the journey kind of

Gavie:

Yes.

Diane:

from starting at the fool and ending at the world. Right,

Gavie:

So the fool is starting out a new journey, and it can be. You know, where you're feeling courageous and you're just gonna go, but also it can be maybe you're being a little reckless and you're still gonna go anyway. Then it ends up at the world where, you know, it's come full circle and you've completed, you're accomplished. Uh, so that is the fool's journey of the major Archana. And so when the major Archana actually comes out, that is very representative of a major life shift for you. Um, whether it be, you know, an actual event going to take place or even mindset. When Major Orana comes out, you should really be paying what specifically in your life, like what major trait or aspect of yourself should

Diane:

Mm-hmm. I love that. And so how so For me personally, I pull a tarot card usually every morning I pull a tarot. After I meditate, and after I breathe, I sit at my altar and, you know, I, I pull one, sometimes I pull four. Um, and you know, you shuffle 'em. So there's 82 cards in a tarot deck, correct.

Gavie:

78.

Diane:

78. Okay, so 78. And you shuffle them. And if you think about it, it's pretty rare to pull the same one repeatedly.

Gavie:

Oh my gosh. I call those stalker cards.

Diane:

so I have just gone through this major transition. I am, by the time this airs, I will have retired from the fire service after over half of my life. And while I was contemplating that, I would, you know, kind of process it. And I will tell you, I pulled the three of swords pretty consistently I was like, seriously, again, again, again. And then this morning I sat down and I pulled four cards and I didn't pull the three swords, but the two major Archana cards that I pulled was the devil and the World. So as you said, you know, represents those transitions and kind of letting go and I think. When you see the cards, oh, the devil, that gets a bad rap. And the death card gets a bad rap and it's not necessarily means that you're dealing with the devil and or you are going to die. I mean it explain that like if I'm wrong, please correct me. It just means like it's a, are you sure you know what you're doing? Do you need to let go of things? And like with the death card, is it an ending? And that means there's a new beginning.

Gavie:

Yes, yes. The death is a new beginning. So in the death card you can see that he's kind of at a standstill and you know, the Pope or whoever it is they're pleading with. The guy on the horse and there's children there also, but in the background you can see that the sun is rising through the tower,

Diane:

Mm-hmm.

Gavie:

and that there is hope at the end. Of this kind of journey that which I don't know if you've noticed in the death card the path to that, those towers is very unclear.

Diane:

Yes,

Gavie:

Like you don't know where, like where's the path? I don't know. There's water, there's rocky roads. Like, like that is a very much representative of their will be obstacles. There will be uncertainty. Yes.

Diane:

Yes. I mean, it's, I think it beautifully represents, I like to focus on the journey to authenticity and as we journey through our lives, it's never about the destination. It's not about getting to the tarot. It's not even really about death. I mean, that's the one sure thing. You know, none of us get out of this life. Alive, but it's the journey to that. And you know, the journey's bumpy, it's unknown, it's winding. But if you can be authentic and I think the more you can peel back the layers and be genuinely yourself, the journey gets a little easier.

Gavie:

It.

Diane:

and you have that faith.

Gavie:

it does. And I feel like setting boundaries for yourself is one, is like the key to being your authentic self. Because if you can tell people what you stand for, No one can tell you, which like, can kind of, it like penetrate your, your kind of bubble of protection for yourself that you've put up unless you let them

Diane:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So, so, okay, now let's dive into a little bit more about how does tarot then, how do you help women and tarot do that? So if, how does, if someone's interested in like, you know what, I wanna try this out, tell me how you do it. And then I also kind of wanna touch upon the stigma around tarot and the woowoo and

Gavie:

Yes.

Diane:

you know, all the things that go with that.

Gavie:

Sure. Really quickly I just wanna answer your question about how Oracle is different.

Diane:

different. Yes. Oh, sorry. I completely forgot about that. Yes,

Gavie:

Okay. So Oracle is different in that they don't have the system in place, the way that tarot does. Like, it's not a, like a strict system of like this is the meaning. Um, each Oracle deck is going to have its own feel for answers and open for interpretation.

Diane:

open. Mm-hmm.

Gavie:

short

Diane:

I like that. I think of Oracle as kind of beginner so when you, before you jump to tarot, like maybe you start with an Oracle deck and some angel cards and just to maybe get more comfortable with how it works and then tarots like next level maybe.

Gavie:

Right. So I think also another big difference in Oracle and tarot. Is that Oracle might be a little more intuition heavy. you will use your intuition in tarot. Um, but I feel like yes, Oracle decks come with a book, but you also can kind of imprint how you feel

Diane:

feel cards. That's beautiful. I like

Gavie:

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I answered that. Let me go back to the, fast forward to your question. You asked how do I use tarot to kind of give guidance for setting boundaries and kind of eliminating or getting, stepping toward, eliminating overwhelm. Right.

Diane:

Yes. With your clients.

Gavie:

So I draw cards using a spread. And first before I even do that, I ask questions of my clients. Like I wanna know kind of a background, just not necessarily questions I'm going to ask, so tarot yet. But I wanna know like, what is going on in your situation? Why do you feel overwhelmed or if you can't even tell me, like just what is overwhelming you? And so I like to get to the root cause of the problem. Because a lot of the ways that people. Feel it's rooted elsewhere?

Diane:

Yep.

Gavie:

Um, like for me, I feel like I always have to hurry up and do something. Like I have, like, I have a lot of anxiety behind, people are waiting on me, and I, I feel like sometimes as a kid I was told like, you know, hurry up, like let's get going. And so it's just like ingrained, like I have to get things done right now.

Diane:

Right. That's, that's a very vulnerable and very aware thing to know about yourself, so that's good for you.

Gavie:

Thank you. So I feel like a lot of people have that also about themselves. Like it's just things that they grew up with in childhood that weren't necessarily bad things in their childhood. It's just it affects the way that you think, the way that you carry out what you do.

Diane:

Absolutely. It shapes who we are.

Gavie:

Right. And so, because I always felt like I had that, oh my gosh, people are waiting on Like that, that's a people pleasing tendency. So being a people pleaser or, you know, trying to reform, I'm being, I'm a reforming people pleaser,

Diane:

people parent. Absolutely. I say that about being a reformed Catholic, so I understand.

Gavie:

right? So, In that like you have to be able to understand about yourself. Like, why is this a problem for me? And so I like to ask those questions to the tarot cuz it's not something that you are actively thinking about most of the time. It's like, where in my life my, my lifeline here, this become a problem? And how can I redirect that change? And so I like to use the tarot to one, find the past problem and kind of figure out where you're at and what are some action steps to get you out or to start getting you to changing that thought process of getting out of where you're at, so that way you can be aware in the future of changing that particular issue.

Diane:

particular, okay. I like that. That's, that's really powerful. And How do you work with the stigma around tarot? I'm assuming, and you know, I don't always assume 'assumicide but you know, people are coming to you because they already have a curiosity about tarot. And so, you know, there's some of those barriers you don't have to knock down, but you know, just to like let someone be genuinely in the moment by asking, I'm assuming it's asking questions as well, and then like they get a card and they're like, whoa, wait a minute, is not what I was expecting.

Gavie:

right. So actually a lot of clients that I've had have been very intimidated, I think by going into a tarot reading. As far as oh my gosh, it's gonna read the worst. And I know that I've, I've talked to other readers and they've said that, you know, most of their clients actually think the opposite that they, have. Like this, this ray of sunshine is going to be at the end and the tarot is, it's gonna be a, a great read. And I'm like, really? I've never, I have not had one client yet that has thought that

Diane:

Okay. All

Gavie:

send all your clients my way. I need that positive energy.

Diane:

Right. Right.

Gavie:

I try to be very upfront about what the expectations are of the tarot. Um, I don't want to read for, you know, people and their toxic relationships. Getting relationship advice is one thing if you truly want to improve and see where the root cause is. What you can do, what you're doing now and how you you know, change it, that's different. But for someone who has broken up 10 different times and it's the same cycle, you know?

Diane:

Yeah. Tarot's not gonna fix that. That's gonna be some unpacking and some professional therapy.

Gavie:

Right. And I, I, I need to say that right now. I am not a therapist.

Diane:

Right. Right.

Gavie:

I am not a therapist. I am not a legal like counsel. I'm not a doctor.

Diane:

doctor. Right. Tarot's not gonna fix

Gavie:

Yeah, I don't, I don't give advice on those things. Like I said, I try to be upfront about what the expectation is and also I, I try to give kind of, this is what you might expect, this is what, it's not just, I, I feel like a lot more, I guess you just have to set people up To know that this is what it is not, that's how I kind of get through it. Just because, you know, the people who are interested in tarot are usually interested in wanting to

Diane:

interested. Right, right. And it's not a crystal ball, like you said, like you, you can't predict the future. It's more of this is where you're at in this time and moment. And it can change when we reshuffle the deck and it can, you know, it can change tomorrow when we shuffle the deck. Do you find it helps with the boundaries because it gives maybe someone an anchor or like a, a thought to be like, oh, wow, I never looked at it that way. And that's a great conversation piece and giving them the tools to speak up for themselves.

Gavie:

Absolutely. So like I said, an outside perspective, it's going to be different than someone who's been living this way their entire life. They may not even know that they have these tendencies or these habits, like until they see like someone else say it to them and they like their world, start splashing before their eyes and they're like, oh, I do do that. And I do allow other people to steer the situation in a way that I don't necessarily want it to be steered in. And so sometimes it's just you've been doing it for so long that it doesn't feel like it's out of place for you. It just feels normal.

Diane:

Right. Like we said, boundaries is leads to authenticity. And I also think that setting boundaries and, um, I'd be curious to hear what you have to say is really a great form of self-care. Um, absolutely. How, you know, How you set boundaries for yourself is one of the greatest ways to take care of yourself. But we may not think of it like that. We may not equate boundaries to self-care when the reality is, if you have firm boundaries, I believe then that's a huge way to take care of

Gavie:

absolutely. Like you were protecting your mental health at this point. Like with boundaries. You were, Trying to eliminate that overwhelm and overwhelm is anxiety driven, you know?

Diane:

girl, yes, I do. and, when it starts creeping up, it's like, okay, what's going on? What's, what's the universe trying to tell me? What's my energy? You know, it's mental health, but it's also protecting, I think, your energetic health, like how you, you know, show up in the world.

Gavie:

Right. And so one of the things that I also like to talk about is what are your triggers to getting to being burnt out? Like don't fix it once you're there. I mean, yes, fix it, but

Diane:

right? But if you can stop it like, it's like a fire, right? Like if I can have my guys put a fire out prior to burning the house down, that's always a better situation if it can stay in the room in contents. So if, you know, putting those things in place be like, the triggers are great and how do you. Talk to people about triggers, how do you tell them to recognize

Gavie:

Right. So I like to use the tarot again, so that way I can kind of identify where they've struggled in the past. And where that, that trigger may stem from and how they can look at that trigger from a new perspective and really look at what the cause and effect can be. like if you let X happen, Y is gonna happen. you know? like if you let it go far enough, the whole alphabet is gonna be out the window.

Diane:

Yeah. And, and it's all related, right? Like we're, you can't really do one without the other. You can't set boundaries without Knowing what your triggers are. You can't take care of yourself unless you know, oh my gosh, I'm starting to feel off. If you're not connected with who you are. And I love that you use tarot as a guide for that, just kind of as a, you know, that outside perspective. And I couldn't agree more because I find that, you know, I don't read for people. I have a. Occasionally with my friends and close family have like done it. But it's so accurate every time. Like there's never you, you know, there's never good or bad cards. There's just the cards that you pull, right?

Gavie:

exactly. So every, like, like you mentioned about the devil, like people see it as a bad card, but every card has a shadow And so like, there can be good aspects from the devil card. It can tell you like where your, your kind of addiction may be. Where you're holding yourself back.

Diane:

Whew. Yeah. And that's, and I think that's another, great segue into our shadow side. We all have a shadow side, and part of becoming authentically, uncomfortable and just showing up genuine is, I always say, you gotta make friends with your shadow. It's not a bad thing. It's, we all have it and it's understanding it and knowing that, oh, that's my shadow side. Okay, what's. What's going on? It's more like a warning of, Hey, pay attention.

Gavie:

Right. So I guess in a way, the way that I use tarot is touching on shadow work. I don't wanna deep dive into,

Diane:

Right, right

Gavie:

into like what the root causes and the trauma, and I'm, I'm just trying to get you out of it. I'm very much like progress focused. Like, you know, if you wanna understand you should definitely seek actual professional

Diane:

professional health. Mm-hmm. No, that's, that's really important to differentiate that and, you know, to say that. And I think if Someone's done the work and they're continuing to do the work and they've got some tools in their toolbox and they're like, all right, I'm ready to, you know, look forward. I've been, you know, ready to explore and use these tools. Tarots a great, like, all right, cool. Like, just give some language around it or options.

Gavie:

and I think that's actually kind of where I came from. Like I mentioned earlier, I was in this really deep, dark place and I sought out help. And then only after I started actually working on myself and having those boundaries like it took me two years after the fact to actually be like, oh, I'm gonna use tarot to implement some of these ways that I can actually. Like look forward, how can I create a better life for myself? How can I create this balance and for the places that I may be struggling? Like it doesn't have to be that way. How can I improve the situation

Diane:

Right. With what you can control, you know, with Because there's so much we can't control, and I just think what a beautiful gift for your daughter to see that and to watch, you know, mom, you know, be real and be genuine and have those boundaries. That's a beautiful gift to pass along. You know, we, we pass along a lot of stuff to our kids. Um, not all of it's great, you know, just like our parents passed along, there's some of their baggage, but to also. that you can pass along those and she grows up saying, you know, my mom had boundaries and I respect that and I may not always understood it, but I respect that. And I think that's beautiful.

Gavie:

Oh, thank you. I definitely try to teach her to speak up for herself. I always tell her, no one knows what you're thinking unless you say it out loud.

Diane:

Mm-hmm. That's so true. That's, that's leadership advice. That is, that's leadership life. Like that is just a nugget to hang onto because yeah, it falls along, but no one knows how much you care until you tell 'em how much you care. Well, thank you so much, Gabby, for sharing all of your wisdom and parts of your story. To wrap up our conversation, I would love to know what it means to you to truly be part of a community? What does that look like and what does it mean for you?

Gavie:

I don't think of a community as. You know me helping other people. I think of a community as everyone helping each other. Everyone is bouncing ideas off of each other. We're all learning together. We're all teaching each other different things. Like someone is going to be better at one thing than you are, and this is not a competition. This is a learning experience.

Diane:

Mm. I love that so much. That is, that is mic drop right there. We are all here to learn from each other and not like outdo each other. Compete. I always say all boats rise.

Gavie:

Yes.

Diane:

I believe that. So how can my audience, how can we find you? I will put everything in the show notes, of course. But, um, what's the best way? What do you prefer? How do you connect?

Gavie:

Sure. Uh, you can find me. I'm most active, um, on Instagram. I'm at Luxi Enchanted and Luxi is l u x I. And you'll, you said you'll put in the show notes. So, um, I'm @LuxiEnchanted on Instagram and also on Facebook. I do go live every week on Thursdays. To touch on a post that I post on Mondays, it's called Mother Fussing Mondays.

Diane:

I love it.

Gavie:

I, give little snippets of like one, one topic, like this past week I talked about finding your voice.

Diane:

Mm.

Gavie:

And so I think that's one of the most important things about, you know, setting boundaries is finding a voice. So just different topics every, every Monday. And then on Thursdays during my lives, currently I'm doing them on Facebook, but I'm thinking about. Swapping them to be on Instagram.

Diane:

Okay.

Gavie:

I will definitely put it in my bio of where they're at, where you can find the live. For my lives I do a two car draw and they touch on the topic from Monday, so that way you can get a little peak at how the tarot cards can apply to your personal situation based on the topic from Monday.

Diane:

topic. I love that. What a great, great content. That is wonderful. That's beautiful. Perfect. Well, I will put all that in the show notes and it was lovely speaking with you.

Gavie:

Yeah. Oh, also one thing that I want to, um, to note, I also have a free nine step action guide. Yeah.

Diane:

Okay. To

Gavie:

overwhelmed to overjoyed, uh, and so that you can also find in the link in my bio on

Diane:

Oh, perfect. And I can, I can put that in the show notes as well so people can access it from wherever they are.

Gavie:

Awesome.

Diane:

Okay. Awesome. Well, Gabby, thank you so

Gavie:

Thank you. It's been great.

Diane:

Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to listen to this episode. Curious on what to do next. Go ahead and follow wherever you're listening to this podcast so you can get updates each week when new episodes are released, and head on over to thefireinsideher.com/audio for a free audio to help you get started on your self-care journey. Until next time, remember. You are a badass and you are not alone.