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Welcome to The Fire Inside Her, the podcast where we explore the incredible stories of individuals who have discovered their inner fire on their journey to authenticity. I'm your host, Diane Schroeder, and I am so grateful that you are here. Hello, fiery soul. Before we begin with this week's episode, I would like to offer you another way to gain helpful insights and wisdom. You can subscribe to my mostly weekly email list at thefireinsideher.com/list. My emails are quick reads that provide tips and tricks on authentically navigating transitions in life. It's a great option if you may not always have time to listen to weekly shows, are curious about upcoming guests, and you want to be the 1st to know about big announcements. This week's episode is packed with numerous mic drop moments, beautiful perspectives, and invaluable wisdom on leadership, energy management, and authenticity.

My guest, Sarah Bettman, is a change maker who is doing amazing things in the leadership world through the lens of DEI. Additionally, Sarah has recently launched her podcast titled LiveStoked, LeadStoked, and it is fantastic. I highly recommend adding it to your podcast rotation. So let's dive into the episode. Hello, everyone. This episode is going to be quite exciting. I was connected with Sarah through a mutual acquaintance, who you might remember from a previous episode The I'll post that in the show notes. And she connected us because of our past being first responders.

So, Sarah, welcome. I'm so excited that you're here.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm actually too excited for this conversation because we already almost dove in before we hit record.

We did. We did. I was like, oh, we gotta capture this. So I always start with a random icebreaker question. And so my icebreaker question for you is, what is your favorite junk food, specifically what you could get at the hospitals? Like, what was that one treat when you took a patient to the hospital that you were like, I need that regardless of anything else?

Graham crackers and pudding.

Do you have a particular flavor of pudding?

Depends on my mood, but usually chocolate. And you'd break the graham cracker, dip it in the pudding, and eat it. And yes.

Yes. And for those of you listening who aren't familiar what we're talking about, is in emergency rooms and hospitals, they have usually an EMS lounge, which is very often the same snacks that you get when you're a patient in the hospital, but sometimes they throw in a little treat, like some bubbly water, or sandwiches or salads from the cafeteria. And it's always a treat when you're bent up late at night, or you're just exhausted to go and see what they have as a little pick me up. And I love the graham crackers. Mine was always chocolate milk.

Oh, nice. Well, we didn't have a lounge. I mean, I was stealing straight from the patients, so, you know, whatevs. And warm blankets, especially on night shift.

Yes. Oh, the blanket warmers. Awesome. Well, I guess before we get into a little bit more about you, I wanna start with The question. Why did you choose DEI? And tell us a little bit more about your specific clients because when we talked previously and you talked about how heart centered was so important to you to work with organizations. I'm just curious what got you to that point.

Yeah. It's a little bit complicated, but I'll try to keep it simple here. You know, we'll go into to more of my past, but I started you know, it's interesting. I was watching a woman's podcast. She wrote a book called decentering whiteness. And one thing she discerned between difference and understanding say whiteness or systemic dynamics. And what I understood is I understood difference from a very young The. And I think when I became EMT paramedic got into rescue I started to understand The each person has a story behind them when you walk into their homes and their situation.

So a gang member is really just a 20 year old kid in the back of the ambulance. From Vietnam being called The baby killer Her wife and 3 kids left him. He had issues not just he did drink but actually the seizures were related to his wartime, stuff, right? It wasn't that he had DTs and stuff. And Her had a whole story behind him. So I think that's where the heart piece came in. It's realizing that, you know, we could walk into a beautiful home only to see it's a disaster inside Diane there's other stuff going on. So I think it started in my emergency services and then it started to evolve as I work for a health system that does a lot around health equity and starting to realize cultural dynamics for people being compliant with meds or team dynamics. And that's where I started to get into systems theory.

So you know, what the power dynamics in the OR versus the ER, you know, that might not be Fire the system of the world Diane I love that complexity because really fundamentally comes down to people being stoked about their work. We spend too much time of it and I know you and I connected The we spend a lot of time, you longer than me, in a industry and we just burned out. Fire, when it's not filling your tank and you're disconnected, we can't live stoked. Right? And we'll talk more about kind of the impact of that. So though I say I I specialize in diversity, equity, inclusion, really, the fundamentals are leadership development, emotional intelligence, team dynamics, and culture work. The DEI stuff is the lens I work through. And it's not always demographic. Sometimes, again, I'll use a healthcare analogy, you know, being an OR person in the ER, that power power dynamic is actually more significant than whether you're a woman or a person of color.

Right? In some industries, you know, being from a different department or a different shift creates power dynamics that people feel marginalized. Now, if that person happens to be of a truly marginalized group, that's a double whammy, and and that lens that we have to understand how things are gonna be perceived through that lens that, yeah, maybe it's because they're an OR person, but if they are of a systemically marginalized group outside of the hospital, they're gonna think it's because it's race, gender, or whatever that difference is. Fire me, it's a body of work that I think is complex and it is fundamentally a leadership development process. It is not strategy or policies and procedures. That comes later. Until you can really understand this journey Diane and for your listeners, I'm a white woman and part of why I do this, one of my friends and colleagues who are of Margiela's groups or different groups related to the environments they're in are exhausted. They shouldn't carry the weight. But also I've had to reconcile with my bias, with my privilege.

I've had to do the work and have the son of a bitch moment. What I thought was happening there, the impact is something totally different. And having to sit through that chain cycle, The truth is now I know. Right? And I mean, honestly, you know, I said something that was easily and could have been interpreted the wrong way just 2 days ago, and being able to know that I said it, know how it could be perceived, and prepared to clean it up. I mean, this is life's work. So, that's where I play. I don't arbitrarily speak on behalf of these topics because I don't think it works unless we have a clear why bother, whether it's connecting better with a friend or a family, or whether it's based on the people we work with, I think that's important.

Thank you for that gorgeous answer, and you really embodied. I am like, yes. Yes. Yes. All The things, because I I I believe it is complicated, and so often, organizations, and I think we, as humans, just unconsciously try to fix big complicated problems with a simple solution. That's just a real you know, it's a tech we treat a lot of adaptive challenges as technical problems. And when we do that, it doesn't work. It's not sustainable.

It doesn't bring about the change that we want, even with the best intentions. And the same, I love when you say, you know, part of your why is to help advocate for those that are burned out and Fire, because I feel very strongly about that as well. And the mess ups and the screw ups The, you know, I've done stick with me a lot, and I've, you know, that growth mindset, that being willing to grow and be, you know, vulnerable and open to that, I just, I commend you for that because it's not always easy. And it's really complicated to try to explain how complicated it is through a lens that where people can feel that they're safe at work and that they belong. And I think, in my opinion, it's that's the root of it. People just wanna belong and be treated with respect and kindness, and knowing that we all have a story. Okay. So thank you for sharing that part.

Now let's unwind a little bit, and tell us about a little bit more about your story so that my listeners kind of understand your why. I know you gave little bits and pieces of it, but how getting Diane emergency services really shaped where you are now? Yeah.

And it's interesting to be talking about this right now because for a while, I I let it go. Right? It's been 20 years since I've been in the. And, and someone recently said, yeah. But it was a at a really significant time in your life. And so thank you so much for letting me talk about it. So, you know, when I went to college, I wanted to be a management consultant because my dad was 1, and I thought it was cool. And that was my plan, but I had no idea what a management consultant did. And, I'm gonna tell the not so glamorous story, just so you can understand my how I came into this.

So my brother at the time was doing search and rescue up here in the San Francisco Bay Area, and he told me about a search where he got to ride in a Huey with the doors open. I thought that was cool. So I called Boulder, Colorado and said do you have search and rescue? It turned out to be Rocky Mountain Rescue and I wanted to ride in a helicopter. So I joined Rocky Mountain Rescue. Now The I oversimplify Fire, but the truth of the matter is, this rescue group does not use helicopters. They do no more, but back then they didn't because of altitude and many other very good reasons. But what I got pulled into was this community doing really cool things, and these mines and engineers that were testing these systems and and going into a depth on, you know, saving lives, making a difference, making it easy. But it was amazing.

So the last 2 years of college I stayed over summer. At the time it was the busiest season, and it was really impactful. And I remember I interviewed with a consulting firm, and they asked me, tell us about what else you do. And I said, well, whatever I have in my life, I'll have rescue. And I think that got me the small envelope versus big envelope. So I came back. I did a corporate job, and I met a friend from high school that was an EMT at a local transporting build. And it, you know, you need to see it to be it.

Right? That is that story. And so if he could do it, I could do it. So I applied. I happen to know the rescue leader of the local search and rescue that my brother was a part of so I joined them. I joined the ambulance. I became a volunteer fire fighter in the local area Diane and off went a 10 year, well now almost 15 year career of anything I could do as an EMT. Ski patrol, mountain rescue, paramedic, firefighter, volunteer. I was an engineer.

Got hired with a big city fire department and actually turned it down, which was really hard, but it was I wanted to finish paramedic school. I was not going to be a paramedic and a probationary firefighter in the same 6 months. Yeah. And that lasted me for 10 years, 15 years, and then I got a back injury. Unfortunately, not one that completely limited me, but one that caused me to pause long enough to say, okay. I need something different. And I'll be honest, I was kinda like, what kind of asshole are you? You save lives for a living, and that's not enough. You've got a good husband, you've got a good house, you've got all the things, what's wrong with you? Diane that kept me stuck for a while and The it just wasn't right Fire somehow I was able to see a different future for myself.

And so coaching in California was vocational training. So I retired out on disability and decided not to chase the surgeries that we all know colleagues who do to stay in this career. And despite being told there was a host of things I would never do again, I blew doors off that, but that's a workers' comp conversation. And got certified as a coach, almost 18 years ago, 20 years ago, and have started on a path of leadership, leadership development culture. And it really was born out of kind of why did the best paramedic get promoted to supervisor or manager. Right? And some did great and some just did not at all. They were awful. Or I remember writing an article, what is it about the cake? Like, they give us a a birthday cake, but then give us a call 2 minutes after we're getting off doing it.

I wanna get off on time. I want you to respect The if there's Diane ambulance sitting there that's going to be 1 minute longer that you give the call to them instead of holding me over 2 hours for me to come back to a happy birthday cake. Like, don't waste your money. And so I realized I was kind of in this kind of cultural development mindset, which then evolved to a series of experiences from doing this work globally. I work with a consultancy with large fortune five hundred globally to doing this work now on my own. So it's been a wild journey and, but that's where it started.

Thank you for sharing that. I I do see how foundational that part of your life is to where you are now Even because of what you shared in the beginning about you learn to see people for their humanity, and you learn to see past the stigma and the stereotypes and, you know, everything else. You really get to see people. And as you were saying that before, I I that definitely resonated with me because I think that probably has a bigger influence in what burned me out too, is I I wanted to help the people. And I was really tired. I felt and I still feel like I'm defending the people all the time, you know, that I get so frustrated when I see how marginalized communities or people that we may think are abusing the 911 system or whatever it is, just get dragged through the mud. I'm like, that that can be fixed. And if that's a a macro view, then what's it like for these people at work and everything else? And it really just comes down to leadership.

And I think the lens that you view from emergency services, you're right. He or she, the best paramedic, they should be a boss, and not give them the tools to shore them up to be a boss.

Or even or even ask him. I mean, I'm sure you've seen your career The captain who's, you know, riding on the rig with the friends, his team gets, promoted to battalion chief, now has his own buggy and is separated. Well, what filled his tank was being with the crew, and it's 1 degree separated administrative. And I've seen people really deflate from that experience.

Well, it's awful because you're not prepared for it. You know what? And that's just The realization that I've had in probably the last 6 months. Right before I retired was my entire career, I was told to work as a team, to be as a team, to do everything together as a team. And then I didn't understand why it was I loved being a battalion chief, but it was really hard because no one pulled me aside and said, well, yeah. Now you're a solo person. It is lonely. You hear them laughing. You can't really be part of it because now you're responsible for them in a different supervisory level.

You're the orchestra conductor versus 1st chair. You know? Right? You have to be separated. You have to see the big picture and they're The of, you know, The crew is one of many crews that you have to be accountable for. So it and that was part of it. Right? Is really that's why, you know, some of my work I've named it live stoked and lead stoked in this idea that we have responsibility to understand what we're after. I'm strategic big picture, like complex scenarios and situations. Well, that goes to kinda higher bigger picture roles. You know, the day to day was exhausting for me, but then, you know, my husband is detail oriented, execution oriented, rallies the troops.

And without any shame or anything, it's like he's never gonna go above manager, and that's okay because he knows what he's good at. He knows what his superpower is. And part of this work as individuals we have to do is understand The, but even organizations have to talk to people about what it means and the skill sets. And that The other thing is you can have an incredible career whether you're in the front seat, back seat, wherever you are. I love using all of these metaphors with you and hopefully your audience gets it. And and there's no shame because I think somewhere along the way we're taught promotion is how we succeed Diane and promotion all the way up is a career well done When in fact, we all know the the engineers who had a 30 year career that were incredible and meaningful and made a huge difference. And that was the only seat they were meant to be.

Mhmm. Well and I think sometimes ego and power start driving The, oh, gosh. I've been in this position, whatever position it is, for however many years now. To be worthy, I need to promote or I need to move up, instead of what am I really good at and what makes me happy? So what advice would you give? We'll start with people who are not quite sure where they're at, what they wanna do. They maybe have that that feeling inside of, I want something different, and they may not know what their strengths are. So what would you recommend they start with?

Yeah. So I actually talk about this in my coaching programs because sometimes it's just a little thing. Right? And so I call it resonance and dissonance. And it really is a research project. What resonates? Meaning, you're looking at and you want more of. Now this might actually show up as jealousy, and you see someone that has something you want. You know, pause for a second. It's like, what are they reflecting back to me that I want more of in my life? Right? So that's the resonance.

That's giving you some information. The dissonance are the things that are gonna give you chest pain. I'll be honest, I had a mentor that helped me get hired by this fire department. And when I got hired, he said, yes. 30 years and you'll have a career and you can retire. And I got chest pain. Right? Because, you know, I hate to say it. All I pictured was sweeping the engine bay.

And these tasks Diane and I won't lie The was ton of shame like there are plenty of people who have incredible careers for 30 years but for some reason it wasn't for me. I've since learned that just because is a good enough answer, but that was dissonance. And for me, it was chest pain. It's like, no, not that. And so as we start looking I want more of The, I want less of The. You start to see I'm good at The, what's easy versus that's Her, it takes my time and you get picture of what it is. One of the things that was really important for me was translating what made me good as a paramedic, And I won't say, you know, I was ever perfect or anything, but there were qualities that made me good at it and how to translate that into a civilian world. Meaning I can be with you in chaos, I can be with you during your hardest time and be with you and leave you with and leave you intact, that strategic training.

If you don't have a behavior change as a result of the experience, then bad things happen when I was a field training officer and paramedic preceptor, but the same thing as corporate. I don't wanna waste your time, money, or energy. So you're gonna be different as a result of working with me and that intensity can be felt. So for anyone who's trying to figure this out, part of the barrier sometimes is what you get measured on is success and whatever role. And by the way, we're having fun with metaphor around emergency services. But whether you're a finance, whether you're a mother or father or a parent, whatever the role is, there are skills that you get celebrated for and how do you translate that kind of superseding to what is on the other side. And that's a really important part of this because sometimes it feels like I know when I retired, I had so much shame or I don't know what to do with myself. It was a good amount of work to figure out.

Translate military is another great example when you go into The civilian world. There are things you did that make you incredibly impactful in the civilian world but you need some time to kind of figure it out. Long The, Let's go back to our engineer metaphor. You know, an engineer who's doing that for a while, they probably don't have to think about it. The have discretionary energy and that boredom or energy is like, well, I got to do something bigger. Now, it could be promote or it may be The you become a training officer or you take on you're on The, you know, the urban rescue team. And the same is true in corporate world. You know, you find your stride and you now have some energy and capacity to apply to something else.

It doesn't necessarily mean you have to full stop change your job. It might be I'm gonna take on a new workout regime. I'm gonna learn a new thing. Maybe I'm going to add a piece to my role and participate in resource groups or kind of subcommittees. So I think that's the other thing, you know, that should I should do something. I should move, I should change, I should promote. Pause a second. It might be, I'm really actually happy in the foundation and it's going to afford me more time and energy.

Frankly, I was just talking to someone who said, you know, I really love where I am right now because I can enjoy my grandbabies. They're not doing The climb, they're not fighting. When they come home at the end of the shift, sure they're tired but you know, I remember when I first started, every day was so exhausting because every day felt like it was a steep learning curve. But you do this and you come to kind of the sunsetting of your Schroeder. The amount of energy you use to get through the day is much less. And for this guy, it was I'm using it to be with my grand bear bees. I've got 2 years left. I'm gonna love it.

I'm not gonna get hurt. And he's just very zen about it. And it's pretty cool.

I love that. And if I'm hearing you, what I'm also hearing is be curious. When you get that that feeling, that's like an invitation to be curious and explore more. And do that or try to do that without shame or judgment on yourself. Just be curious and see what it feels like, and who knows where it'll take. And I think that can be scary in itself because it's the unknown. It's change. It's, you know, the bumps, the transition to something different.

So switching gears, what would you tell leaders? I'm curious, dear, what you would say about Her, as leaders, it's really important to understand what your strengths are and understand what your team's strengths are and not build a team with all the same strengths. Why is that so important? And how can leaders get over that ego challenging The different is somehow not better.

Yeah. Different is better. It's just harder. It's complicated. It requires emotional intelligence, but it will have your back. It is that fallacy that, you know, and frankly, that's some bias. Right? We use 20% of our energy to make our brain function. And so bias is used to help us make associations and not have to use a lot of energy to figure things out.

If you have someone that's different, you now have to use more energy and that can be harder. So first, the muscle memory is I'm going to hire someone in my likeness. I am big picture. I'm all over the place. You probably can already tell by my answers. It's exhausting for people, especially working. And if there were 2 of us, it would be especially exhausting. Whereas having someone that's detail oriented, execution oriented is really helpful because they can land my ideas.

They can fight politely bring Sarah bring it back. And my clients and the people I work with get a better experience with both of us. And I'll give you a perfect example. Many years ago I was brought in to partner with a colleague and she brought out an agenda that was to the minute. And I had chest pain. I was like, oh my god. Like I can't follow this. But that at the same time and this is actually for a department of emergency services.

So this is a, you know, a group that's kind of in my mind, responding to emergencies and doesn't follow an agenda timeline. That said, it worked out great because it kept us oriented. And then when something kinda blew up in the meeting, as in someone shared something meaningful that we had to spend more time processing digest, I was able to jump in and respond because I had, you know, 6 minutes to figure out how to save a life. I'm really good at kinda being on my feet. So we were able to address that and be of service to what needed to happen in the room, and then we were be able to get back on track and agenda when it kinda landed. So between both of us, we were able to flow and be of service to client while at the same time being on track. Here's for my work and frankly I think in a lot of leadership meetings The is important to know. When you start adding and taking people all over the place, they get confused.

Diane then you wonder why they're not responding to what you're talking about. So if you and I were on a hike, we could have 15 different conversations and flow at the same time. It's great. But for a learner or someone that is trying to be changed as a result, whatever the change is, whether it's a skill or leadership or development or whatever, sticking to agenda and focusing is really helpful for the learner. That's why we all learned report out structures, you know, SBAR, AIOU tips, whatever the thing was. Because it was not only to keep us organized in our story, but also taught people how to listen to us. And therefore, the risk of dropping key information was less. So part of having someone different that you're working with is helping you do that well in service of what you're trying to accomplish.

That's another gorgeous answer. I think about that because I do know I mean, we've been all kind of all over the place just this morning, and we've only been on the call for a little bit. And that to me is, like, totally cool. And the feedback I've received as a leader was a lot of that. Like, I I knew where I was going on this magical mystery bus tour, but no one knew. And it takes a lot of trust to say Her in the van and see where we go. And I just there's so many things. It's little things that make it so much easier.

And finding the right people to put on that bus, that magical mystery bus tour, just makes all the difference. So leaders, pay attention to that. It's okay. You don't want the likeness Diane and recognize The. And, you know, you want good people or people that will help carry out your mission, but they don't all have to be like you.

And I wanna actually touch on something that I didn't that was implied in my answer, but call it out explicitly. If you are working Inside my answer but call it out explicitly. If you're working on behalf of a group trying to solve for a demographic, solve for a role, you better have that person in the room. Predominantly male leadership teams trying to decide benefits for women, right, or activities for women or, you know, I work with some beer distributing clients. The executives were trying to solve a problem that's happening with their drivers and delivery. Go ask your drivers and delivery. So that's also an important piece is we as leaders sometimes think we're supposed to have all the answers. It is my belief that brilliance is in your organization even if your organization is your family because they will tell you what you need.

They will keep you from doing something that you think has good intentions, but really has totally untoward impact. And just a small family example, I was coaching an executive woman, she was about to get promoted, she was going to have to travel a lot. I asked her did you talk to your kids? I think they were 4 or 6 at the time. She's Fire, no. I've talked to my husband. Go talk to your kids. 2 weeks by she comes back and tells me about this story that the kids were so excited for mommy. She doesn't know whether they understood what was going on.

But one thing they worked on together is that they would tell her what was important. So already they're negotiating around mom guilt in this idea is like, I want you to be at this play. I don't care if you're at my baseball ball game. Right? And they're starting to have agency and choose. But then the other thing was that if she was gone for 2 days, they got a present. And later on in our coaching actually as we were closing, she told me The story of how she came home after one day and her kids were pissed because they didn't get a present. Inside idea is like, oh, I don't want to talk to Her. I don't want to bother them.

Oh, they won't know. Just try it. Just ask. That's the other thing for If you're trying to solve a problem on behalf of a group that is not you or hasn't been you for many years, get that group in the room whether it's a demographic identity, whether it's a role, whether it's a skill set because it will save your bacon and frankly they've just like I was thinking about management and leadership all the way as an EMT, you know, a BLS transfer EMT, There are informal leaders and people who are thinking about the problems you're trying to solve and have solutions because they live it every day. So, you know, there is the kind of dynamic of hiring someone that's different than you just kind of personality wise, skills wise, but also making sure that you have the people that you're working on behalf of in the room.

That is, again, masterclass in leadership. So how does working with leaders and the work that you do now, how has it impacted you and your leadership style?

You know, I think the biggest thing is, you know, I had to undo the rescuer in me. Oh my god. I I mean, I almost joke that I had to make a well, no. I don't joke. I say this. I had to make amends to my first coaching clients because I just wanted to rescue and save everyone. I went through a really intense leadership program where I realized the way I want to connect by rescuing and helping was actually the way I was pushing people away because we all know how awesome that is when someone's like, hey, you know, you ran into traffic, well, you know, did you try this and this? It's like I can figure it out. I'm totally fine.

Right? So that was one thing early on in my career. But what's happened more recently and is really important is the magic of setting an intention and creating space and guardrails and then letting the brilliance come through. So for example, in my last corporate gig, we built 10 resource groups in a year, which many practitioners said that's too fast, that's too many. But the thing is all I did is I if someone came to me, oh, we should build a resource group on behalf of a certain group, I'd say great. Go find some others, create a business case. Why, you know, external? What other companies are doing on behalf of this group internal? Why do we need it in our organization? And then what you think what you will do in the first one to 2 years. And I will put you in front of leadership to present your case. Well, that was important for a number of reasons.

1, if they couldn't do it, they didn't have enough energy to sustain a resource group. 2, if it was one of these, oh, you should build The resource group. I wasn't gonna build it because it won't last, so it became a barrier. And there were some of those 10 groups that like they've had fits and starts for almost 2 years before they got established. And so that is an important piece of the whole thing. And then finally, once those resource groups were built, it was awesome because they rose up and they created things and activities. One of the resource groups, Hispanic LatinX group, they brewed a beer with a beer maker because one of the people on the leadership team the resource group was part of the beer division. I was working for a company.

I never could have told them to do that. I never would have come up with the idea. So being clear, like, I had strong feelings about the governance and how to create the flywheel effect so the group was sustainable and healthy for the long Her. But what they did was brilliant. That's probably where I spend more time. Even with leaders as a consultant, I'm more of a coach consultant Diane a true consultant. I'm not going to tell you what to do for your culture. I'm going to take you through experiences so you can see your culture.

It exists in your organization. It's you at your best We build the mission, vision, values around that. Whether it's a department or organization because what they decide to do with it and when they get it in their heart, they're gonna do things I could never tell. That's why even with DEI, when executives are upset about it and they have it in their heart and they're bothered, their employees are having different experiences, they will have solutions and way to fix it that are way better than anything I can do in way more meaningful for The organization. So that's where I'm playing now and it's really fun because I don't have to have the answers. I just create the space. I create the potential. I have to believe in my client's ability to change whether it's an individual or an organization and hold that kind of vision for their best self in the future as we shepherd towards it.

But once they get it and take it and run, it's like, okay. I'm all good. You don't need me anymore. Go you go. You do you. You got this figured out.

Yeah. So I have evolved. Live stoked is really kind of The foundation of it is manage energy not time, which is my burnout story. And one of the things I learned was that it was about capacity to change and how I fill my tank and drain my tank. And so The is being mindful of the drains and the things I need to get down. And The were talking earlier about my assistant. Like, that was a huge drain to do scheduling. I just turned it off by hiring someone that's way nicer than me and able to help.

That drain is not draining my tank. On the flip Inside, rain making. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area where we have five descriptions of precipitation. It's misting, drizzling, raining, downpour, foggy, whatever. And if you've ever been to San Francisco in summer, you know The if it's foggy and it's just drizzling you can still get soaking wet. So the point being is those micro moments. So whether it's my first sip of coffee in the day, first deep breath in the morning when you go Inside, and really helping that resonate and fill my tank.

So I really work on micro moments of maintaining and then physical activity is important. A great example yesterday, I've been doing a Peloton challenge and I decided to bail on it. I'm not bailing on the whole thing, but I didn't get, you know, 100% platinum because I just need to be outside. So I went on a long hike. I need to be in nature. I just need to wander, hiked a bunch of trails I've never been and, you know, have my 24 hour pack because the rescuer in me never goes away. So I could go as long as short as I wanted, and I just wanted to keep going. At one point, I was on my way back, and then I hit a trail to go back up and add another mile.

I'm like, okay, so we're doing The, right? I guess we're doing this because my heart just said, yep, turn right, go up the hill. And so that's a big part because it's not about big things necessarily. It's about the micro things that I feel compelled to Diane sure, I just added weight training because at my age that's important. I try to eat well and, you know, I'm intentional and thoughtful about my drinking post COVID. I'm certainly the stereotype working for Alcbev company that probably overdid it. Now rethinking my relationship with alcohol. And so there there is kind of fundamentals of wellness but I need to do it without shame. I need to do it without the the banner of this is what you should do and I need to do it again from my own, take it from my head into my heart so I'm compelled to do it because some of these wellness activities can cause more shame and drain your tank if it doesn't work for you.

And that was kinda yesterday. It's like, you know, I'm gonna blow my platinum perfect record on this power zone challenge. But the thing is, my soul is gonna be so much happier being out in the woods. And that's what I need to do, and I just let it go.

What a great boundary to set for yourself and taking care of yourself. And as you're saying this at the time we're recording this, my yoga studio is doing, like, a yoga bingo thing. And I was all in at the beginning of the month. I was, like, mapped it out. I was gonna get it. I wanted perfect. I wanted bingo. And then life happened, And it's not gonna be perfect.

And you know what? I was like, it's okay. I'm still doing yoga more than I would if it weren't for the challenge. And I opted to, you know, my husband and I needed some time, so we opted to just take time for ourselves, and that's okay. And I do struggle still a little bit. It's not as bad. I've definitely tamed the shame now that I recognize it, but it's still there. So it feels like it's always gonna be a little bit of constant work, and that's okay. It's more manageable than I anticipated when I first started taking care of myself.

I can push myself further than my body wants to go. That's part of what led to the burnout. And I've done it a few times in my life. And the value I learned of 80% is good enough and The I'm still doing way more and have evolved because of it is a really important lesson. For me I was all or nothing. I didn't get platinum. Well I'm not gonna finish the rest of the challenge. I made a conscious, you might as well not do it versus no, keep going, get back on next week.

Each week you get a new kind of set of weeks and challenging and do it. But here's the thing. I made a choice still in line with the values of what the Peloton challenge was is to keep me moving especially in the winter when it's rainy. Yesterday or even today is a beautiful fall day. I'm still in line with the value and the reason I signed up for The challenge by going on a long hike and letting my mind water. They're still very much aligned. And so that was really important for us to remember.

Yes. Okay. As we wind down this fabulous conversation, I want to respect your time. This podcast is all about the journey to authenticity and how important it is that it's not the destination, it's the journey. So what is one piece of advice that you've learned about authenticity from your personal journey that you wouldn't mind sharing with my listeners?

Oh, gosh. My whole life is around authenticity since that burnout. You know, I called it waking up in the wrong life because I didn't know I had an authentic self. And, you know, I had a uniform. I had a big fucking truck that I rode around Diane. And, you know, I had a lot of compelling artifacts of an identity that fundamentally wasn't me. So that is authenticity is my number one value with integrity being the second. The is just appreciating the journey and looking for that resonance and dissonance.

Oh, that fills my tank. Oh, that drains my tank. And letting yourself kinda do a research project. And I think about it. Some of my coaching clients come to me whether they're corporate or individual is like the pixels are big blobs. They don't know what the picture is. But then when they start doing some research and resonating whether it's their body or hard mind, whatever makes sense to you, you start to see the picture of what an authentic life is. I'm unapologetic about certain ways I am.

Doesn't mean I'm not emotionally intelligent in bringing my best self into certain environments. Right? And differentiating versus when we flex based on our authenticity versus twist ourselves to fit in roles. They have fundamental different feelings. And I think for me is that evolution. What worked for me in my 20s didn't work in The 30s and now at 50 and kind of approaching this new chapter. What is authentic looks a little bit different and that's okay. So that's 1. But 2, I think the other thing is sometimes being authentic self requires trying things, doing things that are out of the norms and challenging some of the roles and identities that have been put upon us.

Some of them fit brilliantly and some just don't. A jacket, you put it on it should wear well. But when you really look at it, and I have been gifted with people who live life on their own terms, whether it's their relationships, how they raise their kids, you know, there's some fundamentals that they they believe in, but kind of The expression is somewhat different. So giving us our, giving us time and permission to figure it out. And I think, you know, to your earlier question, coaches, therapy, courses, all those things, those are have been foundational throughout my life. So when I burned out body, mind, and spirit, I was doing triathlon. My triathlon coach worked with a life coach. That life coach was the person who really helped me and got me into coaching.

And then I have had coaches since for different things. I've been in therapy through different things. So, you know, some of The can't be done by ourselves. Sometimes we need that external person either calling us on our b s or bringing out our best selves and reflecting back to us until we learn how to see it for ourselves. So I think that's, you know, I'd be remiss if I sat here and said, you know, I've got this all figured out and I magically knew how to do it. That's not the case. I have a brother who will flip me on the forehead Diane, like, no. I also have a board of directors.

I call them, you know, I have my cheerleaders and I have the people who will be honest with me. And I have professional resources right now, physical coaches because physical training is a priority, but throughout my life, I've had leadership coaches and such. So I think that's a really important if any of your listeners like, okay. That's all nice, but that's so far away. I highly recommend even just a couple sessions with The coach just to get a perspective and get kinda what your next growth spurt is. Even if it's just for a month or 3 months or even just for a year to say okay The is what I'm going to work on. Whether it's the yes that, no not that activity or whatever. Don't over complicate it.

It's a life's journey and the subtle things moving it from The head to heart and trusting yourself in that process is key.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. Sarah, how can and I'll put everything in the show notes. How can people find you, and what are you offering? I know you've got a podcast coming in the near future, and, you know, you're get stoked. So tell us a little bit about that.

Yeah. So the easiest way is go to sarahbetman.com. And if you're a corporation or organization, that'll take you to one side or go to livestoke.com for the individual. I'm starting a membership in a place where you can get continuous learning, continuous coaching because I think to my previous point, we shouldn't go this alone. And sometimes me, I'm not the coach. It's the peer, so I love group coaching. I don't have a group coaching group set up right now, but will be in the future. So for signing up for my newsletter on livestoked.com is the best thing.

Part of that is offering courses throughout the year. We'll do monthly courses. So if you join the newsletter, you get to hear about the courses. You can sign up for the ones you want or not. If you join the membership, the courses are part of it plus a q and a with a thought leader during the week. So those are probably the biggest offerings or good old fashioned LinkedIn. Just find me there, connect, and email me. And then finally, I'd be remiss if I didn't say, sea to mountains is my Instagram and living our stoked lives are kind of fun.

The lighter parts of this exploration and my random deep thoughts that my marketing team was like, okay. We gotta put that somewhere.

I love it. Awesome. Well, Sarah, I'll link all that stuff. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I'm so excited for you and all the exciting things you have coming up.

Thank you so much for having me. This was a lot of fun.

Another great conversation. Thank you for giving the valuable gift of your time and listening to The Fire Inside Her podcast. Speaking of value, one of the most common potholes we fall into on the journey to authenticity, is not recognizing our value. So, I created a workbook. It's all about value. Head on over to thefireinsideher.com/value to get your free workbook that will help you remember your value. Until next time, my friend.