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Welcome to The Fire Inside Her, the podcast where we explore the incredible stories of individuals who have discovered their inner fire on their journey to authenticity. I'm your host, Diane Schroeder, and I am so grateful that you are here.

Hello, fiery soul. Today's episode is perfect timing to remind us about the dynamic nature of self-care, depending on what phase of life you are in and what tools you have access to give yourself some love. Hint, start by giving yourself some grace, and don't make it overcomplicated. But first, a gentle reminder that if you are not already receiving my mostly regular emails that offer wisdom, humor, and practical tips, I invite you to sign up at thefireinsideher.com/list. And don't worry. The content in my emails is different than the content you hear on the podcast. And I would love to hear what burning questions you have for me, from an episode you listen to, or if you're curious about me, how I navigate the transitions in my life or have navigated them, about self-care, transitioning from the fire service to being an entrepreneur, send them my way. Each month, I will select a couple of questions to answer. You can DM me on my Instagram, @therealfireinher. Shoot me an email, which is linked in the show notes, or my other social media channels that are also listed there. And I recently signed up for Voxer, so feel free to send me a voice memo at The Fire in Her.

Today, my podcast date is with Meghan Johnston, a passionate advocate for self-care, community, and restorative yoga, all the way from Ottawa, Canada. Meghan is deeply passionate about creating spaces that support connecting to your heart and all of the wisdom that lives within. Through her work as a life coach, podcast host, and restorative yoga teacher, she helps tender hearted high achievers get out of their heads and into their hearts to live with more creativity, courage, and compassion than they ever thought was possible. Meghan and I explore restorative yoga's transformative power, the challenges that come with aging, and the importance of presence and self-trust in navigating life's complexities. Meghan offers valuable insights into reclaiming energy and shifting life seasons. Stay tuned for an enriching conversation that will inspire you to embrace your life's changes with confidence and grace.

Well, friends, I am so excited because I'm always excited when I release a new podcast episode. But today, we get to talk to Meghan Johnston all the way from Ottawa, Canada, and we're going to kind of cover the gamut of everything I love from self-care, community, and restorative yoga. Meghan, welcome.

Thank you so much. I'm delighted to be here and truly just, like, buzzing with excitement for our conversation today.

Well, I always start every episode with a random icebreaker question. So, my icebreaker question to you is, what is the last book that you read or are currently reading?

Okay. I am reading a book right now that is blowing my mind, and it is unlike anything I have ever read before. But the book is called, Doppelganger. It is a really hard to describe book, but it's kind of part memoir, part sociocultural political analysis, going through everything from, like, social media to conspiracy theories. It's far reaching and sort of wild. If you're listening and this is piquing your interest, I definitely, definitely recommend checking it out.

And you know what? Normally, that would be me. I like nonfiction. It's like a page turner, keeping me up at night, which is saying something for nonfiction, I feel like that's not usually my response. But I will be joining you with the chill feel good in the coming weeks when this book has wrapped up.

Oh, that's fantastic. Okay. I have Naomi Klein, Doppelganger. I will link it in the show notes and upload it to my Kindle after we get off this call. So, I always like to have options. So, my first question then is I'm just going to dive in with restorative yoga. I love restorative yoga. So, can you tell my listeners what is restorative yoga? How is your journey to restorative yoga? What is it?

Mm-hmm. Such a good question. When we say the word yoga, we have this vision in our mind. Everybody has one of what that looks like, whether it's, like, the handstands or whether it is the deep hip stretches. And restorative yoga is super, super different. And it's like anything. There is a whole spectrum in terms of people who teach restorative yoga and how they teach it. But I will say that when we're looking at restorative yoga, for the most part, it's really not about building strength or even stretching. It is entirely about bringing a sense of release into the body. It's about helping you find a sense of rest. And what we're really working with is your nervous system. If you think about in our bodies, like, when you build muscle, it's something that happens over time, and it's kind of the same with our capacity to rest. If we're not practicing that, it's like a muscle that we need to build. And so, restorative yoga is just, like, one of my very favorite bases for myself of accessing deep rest as well as helping others. And we can talk about some of, like, the healing benefits and all of the reasons why that is so essential, but I will tell you a little story. So, to kind of, like, set the stage for my love of restorative yoga.

Please do.

Yeah. So, when I was 19, I'm 34 soon. But when I was 19, I started doing yoga for the first time. And what I realized during that time was just, like, how I had been in this relationship with my body where I was constantly, like, pushing and pushing and pushing. My body was the thing that I had to, like, overcome. And I started to realize that I needed to kind of befriend my body again rather than, like, seeing it as this obstacle that needed to be pushed through. And it was really interesting. There was a whole kaleidoscope of things that wove together within about a year, and I ended up just having so many symptoms, so much was going wrong with my body. And I ended up leaving school. I moved back home with my parents. I spent every day, like, sitting on the couch reading Harry Potter and then going to yoga class. And it really kick-started for me this fascination with the idea of rest. And at the time, it was forced rest because that was basically, like, my body was breaking down. But it really got me curious and thinking about just the way in which we're conditioned to think about rest, the way in which so many of us approach rest as this thing we have to do to get back to a certain state, and we only do just enough of it in order to get ourselves back to that state. I, at the time, was really, really into yin yoga, which is similar, though there are differences with restorative yoga. And then a few years later, I found restorative and absolutely fell in love with it. And one of the reasons why I fell in love with it, and I say this all the time, is because to me, it's a really low stakes, safe place to start practicing identifying what do I need and then actually giving that to ourselves. Because in a restorative yoga practice, you're staying in poses for 5, 10, sometimes up to 20 minutes. And the idea is that you're staying there so that you can rest, so that you can access the parasympathetic state of your nervous system. If you know sympathetic or what we call fight or flight, and then we've got parasympathetic, the rest and digest. So, you're staying there for a while, and you're really trying to create a supportive, cozy, nourishing environment into which you can relax. And so, to do that, it requires, you know, adjusting some blankets or some pillows or making yourself as comfortable as possible when you're staying somewhere for, like, 5 or 10 minutes, and there's, like, a little lump in your blanket that's causing a little, like, crank or that feeling of just, like, disease, you want to actually do something about it.

Mm-hmm.

And I feel like it's such an empowering experience to practice on the mat, like, identifying what do I need, and how can I get that to myself? And then that's something that we can carry and bring into our life as well.

Thank you for sharing that. I want to back up just a little bit. I have always struggled with my body image. Making peace with my body has been one of my greatest struggles, and I've done a lot of really cool things in life, and I feel like I've overcome a lot, and my relationship with my body is a last stand, if you will. And to have that awareness at such a young age is beautiful, and what a gift to give yourself. So, that's gorgeous. How you described restorative is learning how to give yourself what you need. The other thing that you mentioned was you had this, like, adversarial relationship with your body, and yoga has kind of given you, you know, you don't have to overcome or compete with your body. You can just learn acceptance. Is that fair?

It's definitely fair and also a continual journey. Like, you know, like, let's not pretend that that means I have a perfect relationship with my body because I absolutely don't. And that first kind of burnout that I mentioned at 19 has not been my only burnout.

Thank you for being authentic and vulnerable and sharing that. I feel like now that I'm headed towards, you know, I'm in midlife, and the body does some pretty funky things. This body that I feel like I've been so hard on for so many years, I'm kind of like, man, I was really hard on you, sis. I need to give you some grace because you're right. It is a journey. It's continual, and it's a work in progress. That is the best way to describe restorative yoga. And I think if you could also describe for my listeners what that means when you're in a shape for, you know, up to 20 minutes. Because if someone's never done yoga or restorative, they're like, oh my god. I'm going to be standing , you know, on one leg balancing with another leg over my head for 20 minutes. That sounds really challenging.

Often, when I'm telling people about restorative yoga, I tell them it's a little bit more a structured nap time. More like, we're not actually falling asleep, though you might. Like, it's a common experience because so many of us are just so tired. We're putting the body in these very, very gentle most of them, you're laying down on your back or your side or your belly. We're not even really looking for a stretch in most of them. Like, we're really just looking to support the body. There's a little bit of pressure that we're maybe putting to contract or expand around certain organs, like the kidney or the heart space or the lungs, but it really is much more of an experience, a little bit more like meditation, but there are differences again because with meditation, depending on the type of meditation. With restorative, there is just this idea of, like, really cocooning and making the body just feel so, so, so held. And that is intentional. Because when we're looking at the nervous system and we're looking at conditions for relaxation and the ability to trigger our relaxation response, there are some things that help. And some of those things are, for instance, like, really feeling supported. But another thing is time. It does take time. I don't know if you've ever had this experience before, but maybe you have some time in your day that is unstructured, and you go and you sit on your couch, and you, like, try and relax, and you give it about 90 seconds, and then you're, like, okay. Nope. That doesn't work. I'm going to go clean, or I'm going to go do laundry or, like, whatever.

Yes.

And I think it happens so often where we do have these, like, pockets of time, but we don't really let ourselves lean in. And on average, it takes 10 to 15 minutes to shift from a state of activation into a state of relaxation. And so, we are staying in poses for longer in restorative so that you can let the body come and settle. And my favorite thing about practicing is and I don't always, but a lot of times, I'll feel the moment where there's a large shift. And there could be little shifts over time, but I'll feel the moment where all of a sudden, my breath is just, like, moving with this flow and this ease, and it's more in my belly rather than in my chest. Or I'll feel the moment where it's just like, oh, yeah, my muscles, it's like they just melt away a little bit. But that moment doesn't come in the first few minutes. Like, it's usually 5- or 10-minutes in. You know?

Not restorative, but, like, I feel it's a close kissing cousin is yoga Nidra, it’s like, guided meditation and yoga which you’re really just laying and it’s kind of like, guided meditation and the first time I did a yoga Nidra was in a sling, and so we're suspended in the air. Literally feel like a cocoon and our teacher sent us through this beautiful meditation, and it was one of the only times I felt my heart open. And it was beautiful, and I cried, and the tears, and just such joy, and like this release of all of the pain I'd been holding for so many years, and this was 5 and a half years ago. I will never forget that feeling. And it was, at first, after it happened, I was like, oh, I need to chase this. I want this to happen again and again and again, but that's not how it works, unfortunately. And so, I would say the same in restorative too is it's almost like when you go see your favorite band play and you chase a song that you want to hear live, you can't put that kind of expectation. But if you're there to be present and just and nourish your body, you never know what's going to happen, and that's a gift of yoga, I think.

It is. And I think the other thing about whether we're talking about restorative or yoga Nidra or even different forms of meditation is, I think actually a lot of us don't even know what rest feels like.

Mm-hmm.

And so, one of the things that can be really interesting that happens, and it's happened to me and it'll happen with students, is you'll finish the end of class and you'll go, oh, I didn't really rest. Like, my mind was kind of racing the whole time. But yet when you stand up, you feel like, it's almost like when you get a massage or, like, acupuncture or something, and you think, like, oh, I didn't really rest that much. And then you just stand up, and you're kind of a little bit woozy and trying to find yourself in space. And you go, like or you'll see your face in the mirror, and you go, oh, wow. Like, I am, in fact, quite relaxed. And so, I think it's interesting too to start to, like, get curious about what rest and relaxation is. Like, what does that feel like in my body? What does it feel like when I'm in it? What does it feel like after? And I mean so much when I'm teaching yoga as well as I'm a life coach as well. Like, so much of it, so much of all of my work is really guiding people into their own internal awareness, and a huge part of that is being curious. And like you said, the presence of, like, what is happening right now, and how can I be present to that? One of the reasons that so many of us feel depleted and feel like we're running on empty and feel like there's just nothing in our tank is in fact because we are lacking presence in our life. Like, we're not showing up for the moment as it is. We're always chasing the next thing or we're stuck in the past. And again, it's letting us come into presence in our bodies, and I truly do think that's one of the biggest gifts we can give ourselves. And it brings a whole lot more joy.

Yes. So, I present a lot to the fire service. So, when I talk about work-life balance, I don't think it exists. I think and I always use yoga as an example. Because before you can get into any type of balancing posture or shape, you have to be stable. You have to be grounded. You have to be focused and present in the moment, and I feel like that's a beautiful translation to life. If you're at work, you have to be grounded and present and focused so that you can do what you need to do. And then the same in your personal life, you have to be present and focused. You're being stable. It's not really balancing both, and that's one of the biggest lessons and takeaways I've learned from yoga. So, and you brought a great transition and segue into your life coaching because life coaching is a pretty broad topic, and you specialize in connection to your heart. Correct?

That's right.

So, please share with my listeners and myself a little bit about what that means, how you coach people to connect with their heart.

Such a beautiful question, and I don't know that anyone has asked it in that way before. So, thank you for that. I'm going to circle back to that question. But I'd love to just talk about, because it's something I'm so passionate about, the relationship that I see between specifically restorative yoga and rest and these, like, forms of, like, deep stillness and care and how that kind of relates to coaching. Because it's a little bit of an interesting story. If we go back to when I was 19, I, you know, had this burnout, all of the stuff was happening in my body. At the time, I found yoga. At the time, the other thing that I found was life coaching, and I found it in an unexpected place. So, I was at university, and there was this course, such a strange course, but absolutely brilliant, that was offered by someone who was a life coach, and he was also in the business department and in our school's indigenous studies department. And he taught a course called, The Meaning of Work in Contemporary Society, like conversations that matter, and it was basically a life coaching course. And at that time, I knew in my heart and in the depths of my being that 2 things. I knew that I wanted to teach yoga, and I wanted to be a life coach. Now I have been teaching yoga for over 13 years, but I have only started coaching in the last 2 years.

But let's come back to the heart. So, for me, as somebody who is a really tender hearted, big feeling person. As somebody who, because of society, was conditioned, I was a pretty high achiever. I'm still a high achiever. And we really are, like, taught to go into our heads all of the time. And so, for me, one of those big life lessons that I think will always be a life lesson for me is coming back into my heart. And I know that when I shift out of my head and into my heart, it's like magic. Like, that's when I'm able to make the best decisions. I'm able to access the most creative ways of problem solving. I'm able to connect most deeply with others, which is not to say that, like, our heads don't have value.

They absolutely do. Like, our brains are very important. But I do talk to a lot of people who really struggle with decision making and prioritizing, and there could sometimes be paralysis, or there's, like, what I talk about as, like, frantic action where you're bouncing around doing everything.

Mm-hmm.

And what does it mean to slow down and then actually connect inwards with, what is the wisdom inside of you saying? And that is a skill. Again, it's like a muscle that we have to practice.

Speaking of timing, I was in an appointment today, see her all the time, and she and I were talking. I'm new to being an entrepreneur. I'm new to figuring out kind of what I want to be when I grow up. I retired from the fire service after, you know, 24 years, so I'm still trying to figure it out. And I have all these things in my head, and she's like, you're in your head. I'm like, oh, I am lost in my head. Like, not only am I so deep in my head, and we were laughing about it, and she's like, just breathe. And I'm like, duh. Of course. Just breathe. You know, chasing and chasing and just to, you know, get to pause. And I love how you describe aligned action instead of, you know, all the other purpose or your passion or whatever it is. It's aligned action that aligns with who you are. Why do you think it's hard for people to get out of their head and into their heart?

I often come back to what I think of as the 3 p's, and we've talked about one of them already, which is this presence piece.

Mm-hmm.

But the other 2 are priorities and pacing. What I feel like is that a lot of us, we're trying to do so much. We're trying to do all of the things. And I say this as like a very impatient person myself. We have these expectations that things are going to happen right away or that we can somehow push things to happen faster. So, I think that's part of it. And then the other part of it is this idea of, like, we don't know what we really want. And in part, I think the discomfort that we have around feeling our emotions and the way in which just making space to just to, like, feel and be with ourselves, like, there might be some challenging things that come up, but that that might be necessary to get to the clarity piece? The most concise answer to your question is that we're afraid to feel.

I would answer it the exact same way. I would say it's fear. You know, fear or ego or your inner critic, whatever you want to call it, is really limiting you, and in a good way. I think the intent is good behind the fear. It's to protect you and keep you safe. You know? But when you're in your head, that's the head part. When you're in your heart and you don't take those opportunities to feel into what you really want, it's almost like you're holding yourself back. I mean, you are holding yourself back, and you're not going to ever see your true potential or feel your alignment with what is the possibility along with what society has conditioned us to believe, how we need to hustle all the time, or how we need to strive for success, and what success looks like when, really, there's no, what does success look like? I think that's a very personal and individual journey because it's not always about the stuff. Like, success can mean a lot of different things to different people.

I was going to say, I think, similarly to what your experience that you had today at this appointment when you had someone say, like, you know, you're in your head. And I think about it as just that there are all of these different parts of ourselves, and they all have their own truths. Right? So, there is a truth to that fear, and there is absolutely a truth to what's happening in the head. But sometimes I think we need to turn the volume of the fear down and the volume of the self-trust up. And the same thing, like, we might need to turn the volume of the head down to be able to hear what's really happening in our body. And as a coach, I so much see my work as just helping people adjust the volumes of things. And even to remember, like, hey. There is this other voice inside of you. You know? It's not that I'm not giving people advice. That's not really what coaching is. And I'm not telling people what to do, but I'm just helping them hear what is trying to be heard inside themselves.

Absolutely. I always say it's like I'm holding up a mirror. So, you can reflect back. This entire conversation has been a master class in how to provide self-care for yourself. So, I talk a lot about self-care. I can talk exhaustively about self-care and through the lens of really prioritizing yourself and taking care of yourself and learning to listen to your heart. I love turning down the volume. I think that is beautiful. I like to describe it as you're building capacity in your life, and you're building capacity in your life so that you can handle life. And sometimes, we put so much on our plates or so much going on that when the unexpected happens or the curveball gets thrown, we crack because we don't have that capacity to absorb it. You know? And I think that also ties into why restorative yoga is so beautiful, why it's so important to be in touch with your heart, why getting a coach isn't about, it's forward facing. It's to help if you're stuck or if you just can't see always the path. A coach kind of helps point you in the direction. You still got to go on the path by yourself, though. That's the beauty of the journey, and I think how you've so beautifully described everything in this conversation is also about being authentic and learning to trust yourself. You're really learning to be authentic, and that doesn't mean you're perfect. It doesn't mean that, you know, you get all the right answers or that things aren't going to be hard because life is going to be hard, and there will be challenges. It's learning to trust yourself that I can get through the hard stuff. I can be my genuine self. And when you're just your genuine self, it's so much easier to navigate the bumps because you're not worrying about being someone you're not.

I love that you brought in the self-trust piece, and it is just something that I think is being so important. And I think it relates so much to our conversation around rest, but also to self-care and to talk about how I view self-care for just a moment. For me, I think and I definitely fell into this trap for a while. I was, like, in search of finding the perfect self-care equation that I could, like, set it and forget it. Like, be like, okay. I figured it out, and now I'm just going to repeat that. And it was such an eye opener when I realized that, in fact, self-care is not static, but it's super dynamic, and it is constantly changing. And sometimes the things that worked for us a year or 2 years ago or even last week aren't going to feel good in the same way because we're a different person, and we might be in a different season of life and have these different needs. And so, it is that confidence building, right, that we build as we learn how to attune ourselves to what it is that we need and then actually give that to ourselves. It can feel sort of daunting, I think, to think of it like that, but I think it also is filled with so much creative possibility and potential and the opportunity to, like you say, really build our capacity and actually witness our own strength.

Absolutely. And it starts with adjusting the blanket so that you're comfortable for a 5- or 10-minute hold. It doesn't just happen overnight. It's going to change. It could change in a month because, you know, it's cold. It's winter. So, what you were doing to nourish your soul in the summertime is going to look a little bit different, and it goes back to also what you talked about being curious, like, being curious, not being a jerk to yourself, not being mean or hard on yourself because life changes and things happen and being curious of, okay. What will nourish me? And I think it's a simple question, and it's not always a simple process, but it's possible. The possibilities, like you said, are endless, and this has been one of my favorite conversations. So, Meghan, thank you so much with all of your wisdom. I will put everything in the show notes, but you also are so generous and kind to offer my listeners a special opportunity so that they can get to know you better and work with you. Do you mind sharing it?

I love having these conversations, and I love having them with people who are so passionate as you are. It's been such a joy. And, yeah, I'm doing a little bit of an experiment, and it's because I am, to my core, an introvert, and I love the, like, 1-on-1 time. And oftentimes, when I listen to a podcast, I go like, oh, I would just love to talk to that person about everything that they just talked about. It could be a really good fit if you're listening to this and you're feeling like you're needing to reclaim your energy and or that you've been running on empty and something needs to shift. So, it's a 1-on-1 coaching session with me where we're going to look at what kind of season of life you're in and how it's impacting your energy and what some of the shifts are. And those shifts will include both rest practices as well as that aligned action or those more kind of creative practices. You'll walk away with a custom plan.

And so, I'm doing this just for $45 Canadian. So, the idea is to make it super accessible so that you and I can have a chance to connect and get to know each other. And if this feels like it could be really supportive for you, it would be such, such an honor. So, you'll find that offer at podcastgift.meghanjohnston.com. Or if that's not quite right for you at this time, but you'd like to stay connected, I welcome you to come check out my podcast, which is called With Heart and Wonder. We have these types of conversations there on the regular.

Thank you. It was such a joy. I'm so glad we connected. And I want to close the show with another question. What is your greatest piece of advice for someone about being on the journey to authenticity?

It's such a beautiful question. I think my advice really comes back to that self-trust piece and just really listening and honoring all of those little whispers inside you that maybe you don't understand. I know in my life, sometimes it's been the little whispers to try this or try that or do that. Where I go, but that doesn't even make sense. But the moments when I have followed that has unlocked something inside me. Really letting yourself trust the little nudges inside you, even if you don't quite know where they're bringing you.

More beautiful advice. Awesome. Meghan, thank you so much.

Another great conversation. Thank you for giving the valuable gift of your time and listening to The Fire Inside Her podcast. Speaking of value, one of the most common potholes we fall into on the journey to authenticity is not recognizing our value. So, I created a workbook. It's all about value. Head on over to thefireinsideher.com/value, to get your free workbook that will help you remember your value. Until next time, my friend.