How to Use Rejection as a Self Care Tool
In today’s episode of The Fire Inside Her, Diane Schroeder transports us back to the magical summers of childhood, filled with family vacations, road trips, and playing baseball. As she reflects on her own experiences and the lessons learned, Diane discusses how her son’s journey in competitive baseball turned into a profound lesson on navigating rejection. Discover how embracing these challenges can lead to unexpected growth and wisdom. Whether you’re a parent, a coach, or simply navigating life’s transitions, this episode is a must-listen as Diane shares practical self-care tips, wisdom from Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, and valuable tools to recognize your value and stay authentic amidst adversity. Don’t miss this compelling discussion on turning life’s hurdles into stepping stones.
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Transcript
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Diane Schroeder [:Welcome to The Fire inside Her, a brave space to share stories of navigating life transitions with authenticity, using our inner fire to light the way and self care as our loyal travel companion. I'm your host, Diane Schroeder, and I'm so grateful you are here.
Diane Schroeder [:Hi friend. When you think of summer, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Maybe you remember going on vacation with your family, going on road trips with aunts and uncles, camping, playing outside with your friends, seeing your grandparents, or going away to camp, and of course, not having any school. I grew up in the eighties, and if I'm being honest, it was pretty magical. I had so much freedom to ride my bike, play with friends, and explore without a cell phone or any type of tag that my parents could track me with. 1 of my favorite summer childhood memories is baseball. I would watch the Atlanta Braves and the Chicago Cubs on TV. My dad would play with my brother and I in the living room with a mini bat and a Nerf ball, And I also played on a rec baseball team with boys and girls under the guidance of an amazing coach. I felt no pressure being a kid.
Diane Schroeder [:And even when I was told after 6th grade The I could no longer play baseball with the boys, and I had to play softball with the girls, I was cool as long as it was still fun. I never worried about not making the team, getting enough playing time, and I didn't even know what a batting average was. I still have my the game ball from my 1st little league coach, coach Roger. He gave it to me after I hit a double and a triple in the same game, like, 40 years ago. So when my little man told me he wanted to play baseball, I was really excited because I carried so many happy memories from America's favorite pastime. My little guy played rec for a couple years, and then he wanted to up level his game. We were introduced to the world of competitive baseball. Friends connected us with a coach, putting together a new team.
Diane Schroeder [:Ty tried out, and he was invited to play for the team. We were excited to travel around town, play at a higher level, and create lasting bonds. His first competitive team broke up after a year when the coach surprised us at the end of the season, letting us know he would not continue coaching. So we had to try out further teams and organizations. We were invited to play for an established organization who was forming a new team with a paid coach. Ty was excited to stretch and grow with another new team, and then he cracked his collarbone in February, which forced him to sit out the first half of the season. We just finished our 2nd year of competitive baseball, and the experience and lasting memories I was hoping for have turned out to be a lesson in navigating rejection. Rejection is part of life.
Diane Schroeder [:There will likely be times when you are not what someone else is looking for. It could be a friendship, a promotion, a romantic relationship, a job, or in my son's case, a baseball team. Rejection, like other uncomfortable feelings, such as fear or failure, suck, because it's easy to think you did something wrong, and maybe you did. I don't know all the details. But in this case, he didn't do anything wrong. The coach didn't invite him to play with the team next year. I don't think why someone rejects you matters. Mostly because you may never know the truth.
Diane Schroeder [:You can't control how other people feel, what they want, and what they think of you. We weren't surprised that Ty wasn't invited back to play, and that can be another solo episode on leadership, coaching, and how to work with kids. Turns out, having a paid coach didn't meet our expectations, and it still doesn't take the suck and hurt away. I watched my little man navigate the last few weeks with more grace and emotional intelligence than I have. I was angry and frustrated. I do not like watching my kids struggle. Ty reminded me of times in my own life when I was rejected by a boss, a coach, lover, or friend. The signs were there before it happened.
Diane Schroeder [:And after grieving the loss, I wasn't surprised. I was hurt. I want to challenge you to view rejection as a gift, as a self care tool, a little sign from the universe of what is not meant for you. A redirection, a course correction, and an opportunity to do or try something different. This isn't new wisdom. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. I do want to remind you that you have survived 100% of your bad days and 100% of your rejections. Ty recognized the opportunity to find a better team where he feels welcomed, he can add value, and can grow and develop as a player.
Diane Schroeder [:He's 12, wise beyond his years. And once again, he is teaching me life lessons. How can you navigate future rejection? 1st, I highly recommend reading Don Miguel Ruiz's 4 Agreements. It's a quick read packed with Toltec wisdom. He offers a beautiful perspective on life and 2 of the agreements, always do your best and don't take anything personally, have shifted my perspective when I am in the messy parts of life navigating change or rejection. 2nd, give yourself grace and some TLC. Let the emotions and feelings wash over and through you. Don't hold onto them.
Diane Schroeder [:Don't let them live in your body. Feel them and release them. Make space for the new. I personally find that listening to God Rock, journaling, cleaning the house, and a good chick flick Her me get the feels out. Finally, remember that you are enough. You are perfectly imperfect, and you will not be for everyone, but you will be perfect for the right people. 1 more thing. Don't let fear of rejection stop you from chasing your goals and dreams.
Diane Schroeder [:I know it's a risk to put yourself out there without guaranteeing the results. I have repeatedly asked Ty over the last couple of months what he could control, and he said his attitude and how he plays. So remember, when you're putting yourself out there, it isn't a competition with anyone else. Show up, do your best, be authentic, and be all in.
Diane Schroeder [:Thank you for giving the valuable gift of your time and listening to The Fire Inside Her podcast. Speaking of value, 1
Diane Schroeder [:of the most common potholes we
Diane Schroeder [:fall into on the journey to authenticity is not recognizing our value. So I created a workbook. It's all about value. Head on over to thefireinsideher.com/value to get your free workbook that will help you remember your value. Until next time, my friend.