How does music play a role in your life? Do you remember the first concert you attended? The first cassette tape, CD, download, or record you ever purchased? Did you play an instrument or sing? When was the last time there was a song you couldn’t help but sing along to?
Music has been proven to have a wide array of positive impacts on our lives. In today’s episode of The Fire Inside Her we have an opportunity to hear from Josh once again as Josh & Diane share the integral way music has played into their relationship and been a consistent form of self care for them both. Listen in to this engaging conversation and ponder the ways you currently use music as self care and the many ways you could be using music as self care and how it could be positively impacting those around you as well.
If you want to go back and revisit some of the stories referenced in the first episode Josh & Diane did together you can find that here:
Resources Mentioned on Podcast
Keep Your Brain Young with Music – John Hopkins Article
How to connect with Diane
Are you excited to get copy of the Self Care Audio download that Diane mentioned?
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Diane Schroeder [00:00:20]:
Hi friend. We are back this week with my love Josh, and we talk about music and how music is truly a form of self care. Fact. I did a quick search on the Internet and there's an article from Hopkins Medicine that says research has shown that listening to music can reduce anxiety, blood pressure and pain, as well as improve sleep quality, mood, mental alertness and memory. Another article, written from Harvard Medical, is that listening to music or learning to play an instrument, even singing, can help all hard things in life easier, and music is a powerful agent of change. We talk a little bit about our journey with music together as a couple and individually since we met a little later in life. For me personally, music has always been the backdrop of my life. I love all genres of music, I love to listen to the words, I love how music makes me feel and we talk about our first concert together was in January of 2022, but in reality we were both at the same Temple of the Dog concert in San Francisco in 2016. We put this together before we even went on our first date and that's pretty powerful. I love that Josh has introduced me to new music, new bands. I will tell you that I am not a jam band person yet, we've had a couple of experiences at some shows last summer where it was just mesmerizing, we were listening to this band called Goose and the Whole Red Rocks, everyone that was there. It was a sold out show, was just in rhythm, feeling the music pulsing through our bodies and souls. It was magical and not just limited to live music, although I do think live music is the best. I just love always having music on in the background. I love sitting around the kitchen table or hanging out with friends and someone will say something and I'll say a song lyric and then someone else says the next song lyric. And it's just a great way to connect people as far as team building and leadership. I think that a really powerful question you can ask people is what was your first cassette or record or CD or downloaded music, depending on the age of the person you ask. And it takes people back and it's a great conversation starter. I also would like to encourage you to hit pause really quick and share this episode with three of your favorite people who could use a little inspiration with music or who would enjoy a conversation about music. And if you haven't already gone over and downloaded your free audio to Kickstart Your Selfcare routine, head over to thefireinsideher.com/audio for your free Audio to Kickstart Yourselfcare routine. And one more thing. I just want to say thank you again from the bottom of my heart for your support and continuing to listen week after week. Can you believe we are finishing season two? I can't, and I'm so grateful and I'm just overwhelmed with emotion and excitement and to see how much this little podcast continues to grow. So without further ado, let's talk about music. Hi, Josh.
Josh Humphreys [00:04:22]:
Diane Schroeder [00:04:23]:
How are you?
Josh Humphreys [00:04:24]:
Diane Schroeder [00:04:25]:
I am so excited to have you back on the podcast again. And we are going to talk about one of our favorite topics and that's music. And what's important about this episode for everyone listening is that music is truly self care. Maybe not for everyone, but for a lot of people and definitely us. And I think before we get into how music is self care, I would like to share the story of Pearl Jam, our first date, and our song. So I want you to tell me what you remember because we've already talked about our first date. Everyone knows that's season one. I'll put the episode in the show notes and you can go back and listen to the story of our first date. But one of the things we talked about was music and our favorite bands and favorite shows. So I would like to hear your perspective of when we talked about Pearl Jam and our favorite Pearl Jam song.
Josh Humphreys [00:05:36]:
That was one of the things, I think, that drew us to each other on the whole dating app thing was music and how it was important to both of us. And so, of course, it came up in the conversation at dinner and we talked about what music we liked and I don't remember what else you told me who you like besides Pearl Jam? And I was like, oh, that's cool. What's your favorite song? Thought for a minute and you said Daughter. And I saw that's a really cool song. That's one of my favorite songs, too. And I think that's really all I said that night. I don't think I alluded to anything else.
Diane Schroeder [00:06:11]:
You didn't. You played it so cool. It was like, Pearl Jam, Daughter is my favorite song. And I think I probably rambled on why for a minute or two. And then fast forward a couple of months later and we had told each other that we love each other. I went on a trip and on my way home from the trip, you sent me a text message.
Josh Humphreys [00:06:32]:
Must have sent you the song.
Diane Schroeder [00:06:34]:
Josh Humphreys [00:06:35]:
The live version. I think I said it's one of my favorite Pearl Jam songs. And Pearl Jam is my music life, right? It's the bedrock of my music life. And I had attached myself to this song because I was at the show at the front row and there's a tag that they call the song Daughter and it talks about acceptance, being loved. And so I think that was shortly after. Like you said, we told each other that we loved each other, and we often also shared our thoughts with each other through music. And so this was a way for me to share that with you, just to share that song with you and say, listen to this part.
Diane Schroeder [00:07:14]:
It was really cool. I was in the airport, my flight was delayed, and, yeah, we had started a music list of our songs back and forth. We communicate through music. And you said, It's great you're in the airport because you have your earbuds in, really pay attention to the last part of the song. And I did, and my eyes got a little watery because I'm like, man, told him in the beginning, my favorite song was Daughter, and he was just like, oh, yeah, that's a great song. And then he sends me this song that he'd heard live 20 plus years prior. It was just really cool and really special.
Josh Humphreys [00:07:50]:
It's very special. The song, to me was groundbreaking because it said those three words, acceptance is love. And for a lot of my life, those things didn't go together. So that really made sense to me. And when I listened to it, it just resonated with me. And all my life after that, I wanted to share that song with somebody that accepted me and loved me for who I was. And so that's you.
Diane Schroeder [00:08:18]:
It's easy to accept and love you. So now that we got that goosebump story out of the way, another one of our cool stories tell me about when music came into your life and how it impacted you and how it's become a form of self care.
Josh Humphreys [00:08:36]:
So my parents always had music on. Whether it was a record player or cassettes CDs, they always had music on. I remember as I was a kid, Keith Green always playing in the background, and so music was always there. Growing up, I sang in the choir, in church. I connected with music. It made me happy. It felt good. It was an escape at times. It's always a story. It was somebody's expression. And what I later learned is that I could interpret it however I wanted to. It wasn't forced on me. I was always into music. I didn't get into secular music because you hadn't talked about it until high school, and so that was different.
Diane Schroeder [00:09:25]:
Oh, I'm sure for most of your life you listened to what we affectionately call God rock or Christian music. It wasn't anything. I find it funny when we talk now about music from the 80s, rock music or some even classic rock from the 70s, you're like, no, I'm not familiar with that, just because it wasn't part of your life. And for me, similar to you, music was always on in the background. We would take road trips to Kansas and we'd be listening to cassette tapes or eight tracks, and my mom and dad had this great record collection. And I remember listening to I think it's Little Richard, when he would sing about my dingling. And I remember giggling, driving, like, oh, my God, what kind of music is this? And then my older brother, eleven years older than me. And so he was at this amazing age of music in the late 70s, early eighty s. And I just got to be part of it and see that with him and experience Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin and Eric Clapton, Phil Collins. And he had gotten me a subscription to Rolling Stone magazine when I was like eight or nine years old, when it was the double, really big, wide one. So I just can't recall when music wasn't part of my life. My dad used to take my little brother and I to the planetarium for the Pink Floyd laser show. Laser light show, yeah. So I've been to that. Great that music just reaches you and grabs you, and it had your attention before you really got into what you said called the secular music. So tell me your experience when you really it was grunge it was alternative music, how that really changed your life and how Pearl Jam changed your life.
Josh Humphreys [00:11:19]:
It was the sound. It was different than any of the quote unquote secular music I had listened to in the past. It was totally different. The music was I love guitars, I love sounded really deep. And then I was in high school and had my first Pearl Jack, the album Versus. And my mom cut it in half, and so I couldn't listen to it anymore. I think I was a junior, anyway, it broke my heart. Even Flow would come out, and that was life changing. Not as much as it Smells Like Teen spirit, but the same thing for me. It was like what the World, Even Flow would say to me. And then I just dove deep into lyrics and reading them and singing them and just listening to it over and over and over and over again. We talked the other day about Foo Fighters, the first album, and how I know every word, every song on that album. We all have albums like that, right?
Diane Schroeder [00:12:18]:
Oh, I remember Def Leppard.
Josh Humphreys [00:12:23]:
Diane Schroeder [00:12:23]:
My first set was Madonna. My dad took me to the music store and he said, you can pick out whatever you wanted. So I picked out Madonna Like a Virgin and it was the same thing. I'd listened to it over and over, and I knew every word. And even prior to that, if it was just listening to it over and over, the word stuck. And I think Poison was another cassette, a lot of hair band when I was in middle school and elementary school. Bon Jovi and not knowing interpreting the lyrics, completely different when I'm 8910 than when I'm 20, 30, 40 years old. But just having that freedom and getting lost in the rhythm or just the words. Singing with it, you almost lose where you're at and it takes you to a happy space. Or at least it takes me to a happy place.
Josh Humphreys [00:13:17]:
For me, it pulled me out of or into just another space, another level of just brain candy, right. Of disconnecting or not running away from, but just being getting lost in music. Right. A lot of people talk about that and yeah, it was just always around.
Diane Schroeder [00:13:33]:
When was your first concert?
Josh Humphreys [00:13:37]:
I don't know what year it was. It had to be in the had to be in the mid, late 80s. My dad took me to the Old Lady on Brady, Tulsa Oklahoma, to see Michael W. Smith. So he took me to see that. I remember the music was great. We sat fairly close, but I remember we sat down the entire time. Stand up? No standing.
Diane Schroeder [00:13:58]:
Well, it's similar. Fast forward how many years when we saw Lauren Daigle last year, and it was the same thing we are at Red Rocks, no one's really standing. And it was like being in church. And we'll talk more about that Lauren Daigle concert later on in this conversation. But how cool your dad took you to your show. When did he become a deadhead?
Josh Humphreys [00:14:21]:
Well, when he was in high school, I think he in about a year or two, or three, however many drove from Tulsa, Oklahoma to Southern California.
Diane Schroeder [00:14:30]:
Josh Humphreys [00:14:31]:
Or maybe 70 or 72. I don't remember exactly. So at least at that point.
Diane Schroeder [00:14:37]:
How did that work in your house?
Josh Humphreys [00:14:39]:
Well, we didn't listen to a lot of grateful dad growing up.
Diane Schroeder [00:14:42]:
Josh Humphreys [00:14:42]:
I didn't discover the grateful dad, truly, until he reintroduced me to them or introduced me to them. In my 30s probably fell in love with them. Just listened to typically. And you can vouch for this? When I find new music, I tend to listen to it on repeat for a solid, long period of time.
Diane Schroeder [00:15:05]:
Yes, that is correct.
Josh Humphreys [00:15:06]:
But it's how I immerse myself in it, and it is a form of self care. New music is just appeals to me. It makes me happy.
Diane Schroeder [00:15:14]:
So you started you went to your first concert, Michael W. Smith, with your dad. When was your first Pearl Jam show?
Josh Humphreys [00:15:21]:
1998. So my best friend and I seen most concerts with Todd, and we lived in Wisconsin, and we drove down to a place called Alpine Valley, which is in southern Wisconsin. We see Pearl Gym two nights in a row at East Troy. And it changed my life.
Diane Schroeder [00:15:41]:
How did it change your life? Tell me more.
Josh Humphreys [00:15:43]:
It was almost like I was the only person in the venue. It was like there was nobody else around me, and it was seen to me. We were fairly close the first night. We were in the first ten rows, I think. But I'd never been that close before because this is 98. They've been around for eight years. So they were jamming, and it was great. We saw it. We did it again two nights in a row, back to back, and so I was hooked. And then it just went on from there.
Diane Schroeder [00:16:11]:
And you've traveled all over the country to see Pearl Jam?
Josh Humphreys [00:16:14]:
Yeah, I have Todd and I, mostly my brother and I, and oftentimes me and another buddy from Dallas, JC, and sometimes by myself just to go see shows. That was how impactful they were. And they are the soundtrack of 1990s to present.
Diane Schroeder [00:16:33]:
Well, and I love it because I think I still go back to our first date when you're like, oh, yeah, Pearl Jam. I didn't know you were a super fan. I had no idea that we're coming up on this September will be what show for you?
Josh Humphreys [00:16:44]:
Diane Schroeder [00:16:45]:
48. I can't imagine seeing a band 48 times. What I will say, what I love about our music journey is that I remember thinking about ten years ago how much I've always loved live music. I've went to a lot of great shows, and I thought maybe I could give live music up, that I wouldn't have to see it as often, and then maybe I could give travel up, too. And it didn't work out very well. I couldn't. And so when we started talking about going to see shows and live music, and we're talking about our favorite shows, I realized that Pearl Jam, Grateful Dead, a lot of the bands you follow, they don't play the same set list every night. I could never understand why people would go see back to back shows or when people come out to see Phish for three nights in a row. I'm like, well, that's got to get boring for three shows. It blew my mind when you're like, no, you chase the songs. You chase these bands. And nothing against artists that do play the same set list every night we have, and it's been incredible. It really intrigued me when you opened my mind to that. And I'm like, all right, well, what does that mean, to start chasing shows? So we've been dating for a few months, and we went to our first show in January of last year, 2022.
Josh Humphreys [00:18:07]:
Diane Schroeder [00:18:08]:
Green sky at Bluegrass. And that's when I realized I'd been listening to their music for a month or so before, and I'm like, oh, there's some songs I like. I wonder if they'll play these. And you're like, oh, we'll check the set list, we chase it. We chase these songs. And I was like, oh, my, Josh, this is going to be cool.
Josh Humphreys [00:18:28]:
It's a different level of gooberness for me. You fall in love with these songs and hear them live is the next level for me of life changing and of self care, right? Going to live shows is 100% self care for me.
Diane Schroeder [00:18:43]:
Josh Humphreys [00:18:44]:
Well, I didn't know this when I was growing up, but later I learned that it's a recharge, it's a connection. I could feel it in my heart now, and that's not what used to happen when I listened to music, but now it's different. And so with some of these bands, you connect with the song and to be able to hear them live and hear them raw, pure is the best for me for live music and for you. And so we have songs that we chase. It's fun because get to see a lot of shows, I'm going to have a lot of experiences, and one of these days we'll catch those songs.
Diane Schroeder [00:19:20]:
I love it. And we had a pretty epic first year of going to shows almost as much as, hey, I know we just met, we've been on one date. You want to go to Mexico with me? But there's zero hesitation about going to shows. You've introduced me to some incredible artists that I've now seen multiple times, like Billy String and Goose specifically. Those two come to mind what I loved about Goose. So we got to go see Goose at Red Rocks last year. And then we saw him at Radio City Music Hall and then we saw him at Radio City Music Hall first and then Red Rocks.
Josh Humphreys [00:20:02]:
Diane Schroeder [00:20:03]:
And it was just so cool because I'm like, I don't like jam bands. I'm not really a jam band person. And then we're listening to them play. And especially at Red Rocks, I felt that the most, like 9000 people are just in unison with this amazing energy bouncing to the music and just getting lost in it. And everyone was so happy. No one was upset about it. Everyone was happy. It was magical.
Josh Humphreys [00:20:29]:
The feeling, right?
Diane Schroeder [00:20:32]:
Yes. It just opens your heart and you're like, wow, this is so incredible. And I always think, how cool would it be for the artists, too? Why else would you do it? So, yes, chasing the music has been amazing and I love it so much and I'm grateful you opened it up to me. And what I also appreciate is when I'll throw out an artist that you may not be familiar with, but you'll go with me with an open mind. And there's two that come to mind. The first, they're both god rock artists because it was Need to Breathe.
Josh Humphreys [00:21:07]:
Oh, Need to Breathe, both great shows.
Diane Schroeder [00:21:12]:
Josh Humphreys [00:21:13]:
Great experiences. It's the experience.
Diane Schroeder [00:21:15]:
Right, right. The song, it was just so powerful. And with Lauren Daigle, I don't know how anyone who could not feel it at that show and the power of music to release a lot of that emotion inside. I know I found Lauren Daigle to be really important to me when I was in a dark space. You have your playlist, right? Like, man, I'm really sad. So you create these playlists in your head. This is the music I need to listen to. What music do you go back to when you are just like, not in a great place, when you're sad or depressed or not in a happy space.
Josh Humphreys [00:21:58]:
Most of the time I'll go to what's hot, what's really on my mind right now. A lot has been Goose lately, but I think I told you this the other day. Sometimes I get to the point where I listen to so much music, it just becomes not fulfilling in background noise. When I get to that point, I always go back to Pearl Jam. It doesn't matter what song comes on, but it's almost like a centering thing or a grounding thing to come back to that. Those are the playlists that I go back to.
Diane Schroeder [00:22:27]:
Yeah, I find I definitely have because I love all music, every genre I can connect with on some level, especially when I'm doing something and it takes me back. And I remember the words like, I worry that as we grow older together, I'm not going to remember your name, but I'll remember every song lyric. I find that so powerful. And even we were driving yesterday and Candlebox came out. It takes you back to that very moment. I really am grateful that we are able to share that connection and we've shared really cool musical experiences together and not together and still can connect with just how powerful music is. So what would be your top three favorite songs right now?
Josh Humphreys [00:23:14]:
Right now the number one song is probably Creatures by Goose. The next one is probably Wargasm by Billy Strings. I saw it live a couple of weeks ago, felt really good. Last one is probably Tom Petty. What did I tell you this morning? Don't come around here no more Tom Petty. Those would be my top three. My go to would always be, you're welcome for introducing me to all those things, but you have introduced me to all kinds of music that I had never heard or maybe listened to in a different way, didn't have perspective on, and I love that about you. We always have music playing in the house. We got home today from taking a walk and music started playing. And I love that we share that. It's really special for me to have that connection with you.
Diane Schroeder [00:24:10]:
I agree. It's important for self care, it's important for intimacy. It's one of our love languages. How we talk back and forth is I can send you a song or a song will start playing in my own personal jukebox in my head, and it brings me to the moment. Last year we saw a lot of really cool shows, like all over the country. It was an epic year for shows. What was your favorite show last year?
Josh Humphreys [00:24:37]:
It had to be Goose at Ray City Music. You bought the tickets. You surprised me with the tickets. Total coincidence that they were there, we were there, et cetera. So epic day. Yankee Stadium for a no hitter during the day, quick shower and that Goose and Radio City Music Hall. Think that was probably the best. So many. I mean, you'll probably tell them all how many who all we saw last year. But holy smokes, that was a really good day. And just to have that surprise, going to see views at Radio City. It was the second time I'd seen them. They played an acoustic set.
Diane Schroeder [00:25:16]:
For me, my favorite show last year, Goose at Red Rocks, was spectacular. But it would definitely be the Lauren Daigle show that we thought the experience the VIP ticket. And we got to see her do a warm up set and just talk to the fans and just really feel her energy and that energy, and that was a spiritual experience to be there. I would say a close Elton John.
Josh Humphreys [00:25:43]:
That was the one that came to my mind, was Elton John. And then right after that was Stevie Knicks, nostalgic a little bit, but there's a lot of other stuff in between. Billy Strings and Pearl Jam, Need to Breathe.
Diane Schroeder [00:25:55]:
What advice would you give for my audience to bring more music in their lives?
Josh Humphreys [00:26:01]:
Just be open to listening to different music. Somebody says, hey, check this out, check it out. Give it a listen. Three weeks ago, almost to the day, I was given music by The Revivals. Never heard them before and I gave it a chance. I love it. It's great music. So I'd say be open and let it get you to the point of happy.
Diane Schroeder [00:26:22]:
And don't be afraid to dance to it.
Josh Humphreys [00:26:26]:
Yes, can’t dance well, but yes.
Diane Schroeder [00:26:29]:
Let it move you.
Josh Humphreys [00:26:31]:
Let it move you however it does.
Diane Schroeder [00:26:32]:
I would say that, too. And I would say I would offer to play more music in the house or in the radio, in the car. And it really is a great way to connect you with other people. It's a great way for connection with your kids. I love when we're downstairs watching TV and you can hear a little man upstairs and when he's in the shower, he's blaring music. And that's always been a calming thing for him. And I don't always agree with the music that he listens to, but I love that he listens to it and he feels it and it impacts him. So I would say use music as that tool to also build community. It's great for self care, but it's also a great way to build community with other fans and music fans. And you don't have to be able to sing you don't have to be able to play an instrument to really appreciate music and the artwork with it. And I think like yesterday when we're playing domino's for Mom's birthday, there was this amazing playlist on, and myself and my two sister in laws were like, singing every word to every song, and it was just this happy, like it was contagious.
Josh Humphreys [00:27:46]:
I think that the other thing I would say. I would just take yours a little bit further. Make sure your kids listen to music, expose them to music because it will change their lives, give them memories, create those connections with other people and it will serve them well and allow them the freedom to have that music blurry right. I'm grateful that my son has been gifted that your son has been gifted that for us. Share that. It's lovely.
Diane Schroeder [00:28:18]:
I agree. The last story that I want to tell that I think is really cool that we did when we sent out the wedding invitation. And on the back we put predict a song to play. And as we got the RSVPs back, we compiled this incredible playlist and we listened to not even all of it and have goosebumps the entire time. And it was this beautiful. Made me realize how grateful I am to our community and our family and our friends that have this shared connection of music.
Josh Humphreys [00:28:50]:
That was amazing yesterday. We felt the music that people had suggested and we said, look, this is mind blowing, it's magic and let's just put it away until the wedding gets here and it's going to be great to share that. Great idea. I love it.
Diane Schroeder [00:29:12]:
And the other thing I would say is go back to times in your life that whether it was you younger, younger versions of you, and just think about the music that was important then to you then and listen to it and give your inner child a little bit of love with that music, that soundtrack of your life and feel it and just even sad songs, even if you need to cry sometimes music helps you do that. So thank you.
Josh Humphreys [00:29:42]:
I'm so proud of you. It's amazing to be here and to see your smile when we talk about music. It's really cool. I'm proud of you and I love you. It's great to be here.