Hello January! I love this month; I love the clean slate that January brings. The unknown of what will happen in the next 365 days is both exciting and scary. As the years go by, I treasure the time I have, and I welcome the lessons and opportunities to learn and grow. I also have learned to rely on faith and know that the universe will give me exactly what I need. The key is to listen and learn the lesson.
The beginning of the year is an opportunity to reflect on the past, take the good, bad, and ugly, and thank the universe for the lessons. Sometimes I think that we get so focused on what we want from the new year, that we don’t spend enough time sorting through the experiences from the previous year. This becomes a problem because if we don’t learn the lessons, we keep repeating the SAME shit over and over expecting a different. Which BTW is the definition of insanity.
Now we all go through stuff and fall on hard times. It is not fair to compare our stories of who ate the bigger shit sandwich because we are on different journies. My hope for you is that you will take the time to sit with yourself and make time for reflection and then close the chapter and move forward.
This quote can perfectly sum up the last year of my life, thank you, Oprah! A year ago when I was setting my intentions for the year, I was a hot mess, and I knew that my life had to change and I needed to be the catalyst for that change. I am pretty specific when I set my intentions, but for 2017 I wanted four general things; stability, happiness, and to be healthy and fit. I wasn’t able to dig down into the specifics of each; I just knew that I was missing all of the above and I threw my intentions to the universe with a lot of faith.
And this is why the reflection happens at the end of the year because if you would have asked me in June how things were going there is a good chance I would have just started crying. Some tough times included heartbreak, pain, and owning my shit. But fast forward to now, and I can look back and be grateful for the lessons 2017 gave me. So in no particular order, here are my wins for 2017.
I started off 2017 with an 11 day trip to Hawaii. The trip was a 40th birthday gift from my old boyfriend, and although it was our last trip together, we had a great time. Shortly after we got home, he ended the relationship. I was devastated, heartbroken, and forced to face my biggest fear. You can read all about that here, but I did, and now I am in a much better place.
In the fall little man and I took a quick trip to Georgia to spend time on Lake Wedowee with my brother and his family. The weather was perfect, and we had the lake to ourselves. We had an EPIC water gun fight, and I realized on that lake that little man and I are going to be ok. We will be able to take adventures just the two of us and make incredible memories.
After returning from GA, I took a girls trip to Moab, UT with my best friend. We called it our Thelma and Louise trip minus the car flying off the cliff.
I had tan lines from February to October… that is a good year!
Heartbreak and Opportunity
No one likes to have their heart broken, it sucks. The hurt, guilt, shame, fear of being alone forever, unlovable, etc. What hurts, even more, is when you have to watch your child’s heartbreak. Little man had a special bond with the dude and was crushed when we had to leave. But here is what I learned from all the heartbreak:
- I have survived 100% of my bad days
- Little man was ok, he was hurt, but we get hurt in life, and I was able to guide him through the suck. Never too young to learn resiliency.
- I am done settling; I would rather be alone than with someone who can’t give 150%
- I’ll be ok on my own, the last year is the longest I have been single, and I have loved being alone and taking care of myself and little man
- By letting go of what I thought my life should look like, the door has been opened to more opportunities than I could have ever imagined.
- If you like someone, let them know, life is too short.
Taking a Leap of Faith
After several years of making excuses why I shouldn’t write, I started this blog. In my mind, I knew that I wasn’t the only single mom who is a passionate leader with a demanding career, high conflict divorce, and a desire to create a stable life full of adventure! I have wanted to write for as long as I can remember. And it has been one of the best choices I have made. The love, support, and kindness have been overwhelming!
Buying a house at the peak of the market is never a great idea, but that is what I had to do last spring. The market was crazy, but I finally found a fixer-upper with good bones in the part of town I needed to be. With the help of friends and family, I was able to get 90% of the renovation complete before moving in just over a month after I bought the place. I love the home little man and I have created. After several moves in the last few years, we have a home and stability.
And, I was able to get some tattoo time. I have lots of tattoos, they all tell a story and are incredibly personal, but for a long time, they were just on my back and quickly hidden. I knew I wanted more, so I took the leap and started a half sleeve. It was a bold move, but if people can’t handle the ink, they aren’t my people!
Lastly, I participated in two CrossFit competitions!! Yikes! I pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone, and we didn’t end up last. I lifted more weight than I thought possible AND I managed to find myself in the best shape of my life.
The lessons I learned
My intentions were stability, happiness, healthy and fit. I met them all through faith, laughter, love, grace, and grit. The universe didn’t let me fail. I have a roof over my head, a stable tribe, fantastic family, and I experienced what it means to be treated like a woman (AMAZING). I know that life will continue to throw me curve balls and I will need to take the good with the bad. As I sit down to write my intentions for this year I am doing so from a place of happiness, not a hot mess.
What are Your Intentions?
How do you want this year to look? Knowing that you can’t control what happens, but you can control how you handle what happens is POWERFUL. My challenge to you is to sit and reflect on the last year, focus on the lessons, embrace the losses and the challenges. Write them all down, and I guess that you have had a pretty good year overall. Even in the midst of tragedy, there is light.
As always, I would love to hear from you!
My wish is for you to have the year you want and the year you need!
PS I switched planners this year to the Best Self Journal. I LOVE this journal, it is the perfect combination of bullet journal meets planner meets goal crushing success!! And they are only in 13-Week blocks… I highly recommend this planner!! Check it out!